I've lost my way

I've had a really hard time recording games lately.  And it hasn't been fun.  There's one game where I can't get past a boss even though I've filmed 3 sessions attempting to do so. 

There's another game where I exhausted all my lives before even finishing the first level.  After restarting and refilming getting through a couple of levels I exited the game thinking it would save at the end of the level.  Turns out it doesn't.  If you want to save you have to pay gold to do so.  So when I came back to play and film more I found out I didn't have ANY save file.  So I restarted . . . again . . . and filmed the first couple of levels again and got to the point where I could save, but I really couldn't.  It costs 100 gold to save and I had 98 coins and no way to get more.  I wasn't in the mood to play any more, and it was very late, so I just shut the game down and deleted the film.  That was no longer a game I wanted to play.

I tried another game but after 30 minutes of tram and elevator rides with nothing happening I was bored.  And if I'm bored anyone watching would be bored too.  Not good either.

I was so upset after messing around with these games for a couple of weeks I found myself with absolutely no desire to play video games.  At this point I had burned through my backlog of videos and had nothing left to post.  I felt like I had lost my way and I needed something to get me wanting to play again.  I needed something I would love to play and it would put in a good mood. 

I knew the perfect game.

There is one game that I love and always put me in a good mood.  I've wanted to play and finish this game for so long but I've had other games in the works.  The game is Final Fantasy IX.  I love that game.  Whenever I feel stressed out I like to watch Twitch streams of this game and it always make me feel better.  I was less than 10 hours away from finishing this game before my stuff was stolen and I would love to see it through to the end.  Maybe now was the best to restart the game.  So I did.

It did not go well.

At the first moment you get control of the character and start the kidnapping of the Princess (about 5 minutes in) my screen froze.  No big deal.  I'll just restart.  I did.  It froze again and then changed to a screen full of pixilated colors in a funky grid.  Okay, maybe my disk is dirty.  So I took it out and cleaned it off . . . and tried again.  Third times the charm, right?

Nope.

The same thing happened.  My game disk was fucked up and there was no way to get around that.  I talked to my brother to ask him if we knew where his FFIX game was so I could borrow it.  He wasn't sure and I wouldn't be able to borrow it (if he found it) for a couple of days.  Damn.

So now I'm out of videos to post and have no desire to play a video game ever again.  Now you might think I'm over reacting but there's a lot of other life stuff that was contributing to this feeling.  So what was I going to do?

After a good night's sleep I remembered that I started my YouTube channel to help me finish the games I want to play.  It's not about playing games that are current or topical or trendy or whatever.  I post games on my channel to make a commitment that I'm going to see that game through to the end.  Games that I want to play.  Games that I want to finish.  So I've decided to take a break.

I might not be posting regularly for the next while.  How long?  I don't know.  I need to find my gaming mojo again and I don't know how long that will take.  What does that mean for the games I currently have in progress?  I'll still post videos when I can but I'm having issues with those games too.

For Dark Cloud I'm still bummed about my supped up sword breaking.  I've got a replacement and I'm currently grinding to get it back up to an acceptable level.  Once I'm happy with what I have I'll get back to actually playing the story and filming more videos.  As for Summoner, I got really frustrated with getting lost in that game and hated having to keep referring to my strategy guide to find out what I needed to do and where I needed to go.  I know that's what a strategy guide is for but I really prefer discovering things on my own and only using it in an emergency.  I hope the whole game isn't an "emergency" for me.

I might make some "What I'm playing" videos so you can see that I'm actually playing.  I can tell you that I've played a little bit already in Fallout Shelter, Gems of War and Slime Rancher.  I might branch out and play some other games, but for right now those games or all I can muster at the moment.

If you lose the urge to play games what video game gets you back in the mood?  Any suggestions for me?  I might be fumbling around while I've lost my way but I'll find my way back and really start playing games again.  I always do.