Going Insane (almost) all on my own

I went "Insane" and I did it on my own.  Okay, not exactly but I didn't really get a whole lot of help from my friends either.  Until I begged.

I've been working on playing Gears of War 3 on insane.  I tried the standard campaign but couldn't do it by myself.  So I tried it in Arcade.  I figured it was better to play with strangers than to play alone.  Instead of hosting a public match, I jumped into strangers rooms.  At least that way I knew there was one other person there to help me out.  Unfortunately that meant playing the story out of order (not a big deal since I've already finished it on normal) but also having to deal with idiots.

When it got too much I started hosting my own room and just hoping someone would jump in.  Eventually they would but I had to play a lot of mission over again so I would get credit for 4-player co-op (which I was also trying to work towards). 

But once again I was dealing with idiots.  People who spend all their time running around picking up ammo.  If they're gun is full they'd shoot a few rounds then pick up more ammo.  Of course this meant that when it came time for me to pick up ammo there wasn't any left.  Yeah me.

I also had players follow me around trying to swap weapons.  There's nothing more annoying than to be crouched between cover trying to shoot someone when you're own teammate is standing behind you, not firing at the enemy, and their character keeps saying "swap weapons".  So even though someone was in the room "playing" with me I was basically doing Insane on my own a lot of the time.

When it came to the last mission on Act 5 it was even harder to get anyone to join and those that did didn't seem to know what they were doing.  Once a couple of guys picked up the Hammer of Dawn, but never used it on the Queen when she was down.  Another group stole all the ammo but wouldn't shoot the Queen when the bug was on the tower.  If you don't shoot her, she won't come off.  Another group would hide on the other side of the building when the Queen was in the air shooting her laser.  It wasn't bad until the Theron Guards starting climbing up the building.  Because they were on the other side of the building they couldn't do anything about them.  That left me to battle the Queen, and to dodge her laser AND pick off the locust that came up.

And don't get me started on the guy who came in the room and somehow glitched the game so we couldn't knock the Queen down so we could hammer her.  After fighting for 30 minutes and not getting her to drop I shut the room down.  It's never taken more than 5 minutes before even if I had to do it myself.

I eventually got Genghis to join me in a standard co-cop game.  I picked Insane for difficulty and he picked casual.  He did all the heavy shooting . . . I just tried to stay alive.  The Queen was defeated (rather easily) and I got my insane achievement.  Unfortunately I didn't get the Onyx medal for completing the game on Insane in 4-player co-op.

So I begged my friends for help.

When no one responded I thought I would be doomed to never get it.  So close, yet so far.  But Sand Dog came to my rescue.  He booted up Gears 3 and we started the last mission on Arcade Insane.  We also got lucky.  Two other players joined my room and they actually knew what they were doing.  It didn't take long to finish the queen off and for me to get my 4-player co-op Onyx medal.  Thank you Sand Dog!  I also made a new friend.

I still had to go back and find some missing mission I didn't get 4-player credit for but that didn't take long either.  I would much have preferred to play with friends than the hassle I went through playing with strangers but at least I got it done.  It only took several months and over week just for that last mission but I can cross that off my "to do" list.

And speaking of lists I went through and deleted a bunch of people from my friends list on my Xbox.  I took off people I don't play with (or will probably never play with again) and people who are just down right annoying (I'm looking at you Pogue).  I just didn't want to be reminded of all the people I could be playing with but wasn't. 

There are still people on my friend list for sentimental reasons.  Those people will never be deleted.  And Sand Dog has earned his place on that list. He will always be on my list because he helped me go Insane.

Don't punish me, I didn't do it!

You know, I'm bound to do dumb, wrong or stupid things in my life. And when I do, I take ownership of those dumb, wrong or stupid things. After all, those dumb, wrong or stupid things might be the only things I do right. But it doesn't matter whether I do dumb, wrong or stupid things, just don't blame me or punish me for something someone else did that was dumb, wrong or stupid.

I've experienced something like that recently with someone on my friends list on Xbox Live (and Facebook). At least he was on my friends list until recently. Now he's not and I'm being punished for something I didn't do.

The short version is his wife's jealous and doesn't want her husband to have any contact with single females on Xbox Live or Facebook. The long version is one of his female friends said some things to him that his wife found out about and now he's banned from single members of the fairer sex.

Do I think that's fair? No. Do I think he did anything to encourage or warrant this behavior from the harlot in question? No. He's a good guy and I would never think he'd do or encourage anything like that. But his wife does. So when I pulled up my friends list and found this guy wasn't there I thought I might have done something to piss him off. When I went to Facebook to ask how I could make amends, he wasn't on that list either. I eventually got to play with him through a mutual friend and we talked and I found out why he had to drop me.

So even though this guy is a great guy and I have no interest in him whatsoever, other than to play games with a great guy who doesn't go all ape-shit on me because I'm a girl playing video games, I'm now banned from playing with him because of what some strumpet said to him. And yes, I know who that was. And yes, I told him I have no interest in him except as noted above.

I know we have stereotypes of guys who play video games. They're loners who still live in their parents basements and haven't ever touched a girl let alone gone out with one. And probably haven't graduated high school (or if in college they never attend classes). But I guess there's stereotypes for those females gamers out there. We're all harlots, whore and strumpets. Apparently we're all out to steal women's husbands who play video games.

Yes, there are douche bags and losers out there. And harlots and whores. But we're not all like that. I've had some pretty bad relationships with men in the past and I was beginning to think that all men were scumbags. But after meeting the guys on my friends list (and weeding out the bad ones) I started to have faith in the male species again. Does that mean I want to ravage their bodies and do things to them that would make the devil blush? No (with a few possible exceptions [wink wink]). And it doesn't mean I'll get all crazy psycho on them either . . . unless they want that.

But that's the thing. I have different boundaries with different guys. Some I know I can tease and flirt with and know nothing will ever happen. While with others I keep our friendship more along the lines of a fellow gamer, platonic type of relationship. I might have crossed the line a couple of times in something I've said, but I always count on my guy friends to say "whoa there Pengwenn" and put me in my place. And I don't mind it if they do. Once that line is drawn in the sand, I won't cross it. Just let me know where it is and I'm happy to dance around naked from the other side. [Just kidding.]

We're all adults here (at least on my friends list) so I don't think this would be a problem. If you don't want me to get all freaky on ya, then tell me. If you do . . . I'm sure we can work something out. [wink wink] But please, don't punish me for something I didn't do. And wives, if you can't trust your husband, trust me. Punish me for the things that I actually do. And if the punishment is losing the chance to play with a good friend I'll make sure you never have to punish me at all. That's my line in the sand. Trust me.

Gamer's alter egos and hidden identities

Super heroes have alter egos and hidden identities. So why can't gamers? Superman hides behind glasses and the name of Clark Kent. Spiderman is know by Peter Parker. Even Dr. Jekyll had a Mr. Hyde. Okay, not quite the same but you get the idea. If you spend any time playing online games with an open microphone you know that sometimes gamers have alter egos and hidden identities too. And we're not just talking about descriptive gamertags.

There are mild mannered, polite husbands and fathers who turn into raving mad men when something sets them off. It could be snipers and knifers and glitchers oh, my! It could be friends jumping out of a game just before the last kill because they don't want to take a particularly bad loss. At those times that sweet, polite, considerate, jolly good, well mannered individual becomes a raving, slobbering, ranting, poo-flinging lunatic. And that might be a mild case.

And what do I do when grown men de-evolve to poo-flinging monkeys?

I laugh.

I'm sorry, I can't help it. Every time I experience the transformation to Mr. Hyde from someone's previous Dr. Jekyll I'm reminded of the song "One Week" by Bare Naked Ladies. The line in particular is "I can't help it if I think you're funny when you're mad". That just sums it up right there. They rant and snarl and nash teeth. I laugh like a hyena. Hopefully with my mic muted.

I'm not an angry person. And I'm about as patient a person as you can find (sometimes I think that's a fault and not a virtue). But yes, sometimes I get pissed off while playing video games. I express my displeasure with a carefully chosen word or two and then the moment has passed and I've put it all behind me. Listening to my friends erupt in a fiery bit of verbal diarrhea strikes me as totally hilarious when it comes from those mild mannered friends. And from those that constantly spew their eternal dislike and hatred towards a game or player don't stay on my friends list for long.

I've had players direct some of their venom towards me. Friends and strangers alike. Strangers do it because they're ignorant assholes. My friends have done it out of frustration. Do I hate them for it. No. It just makes me uncomfortable and self-conscious, but I know it's based on something I should have done, or something I shouldn't have done. I usually deserve it. But all eruptions directed towards me are mild little bubbles compared to other Mr. Hyde appearances.

Do I wish we could all just along? Sure. But then where would I get my nightly entertainment when Mount Saint MadMax erupts? I know my friends are not Mr. Hydes in real life. And as long as they continue to be Dr. Jekyll they'll stay on my friends list. Remember, "I can't help it if I think you're funny when you're mad". Just don't be offended (and start yelling at me) if I start laughing when you start slinging poo around. And maybe one day you'll see what form my alter ego/hidden identity takes on. I just might surprise you.

A very special thanks goes out to . . .

I knew I shouldn't have done a "thank you" post. Someone in particular has been down right whiny about being left off. But I'm not going to name names (just check out the last person listed). Like I said in that post, I didn't want to list everybody but I'll include a few more here (some that I forgot initially and someone because they deserve it, good or bad.

Thanks to:
MadMax for being the first person I befriended when I got my Xbox 360; introducing me to another girl gamer (his wife) and for immediately chatting me up to see how I was doing after the break in. It's nice to know someone you've never met does care. But harder to flirt with when you're friends with his wife.

Thanks to:
CyberWrat for always willing to help and give pointers to someone who picks up a game completely out of their comfort zone and skill set. And who still plays like a noobie. And for asking me about "Dark Matter". You're my mech-knight-in-shining-armor. (Those treads look good on you, by the way.)

Thanks to:
Snakes Venom for wanting to know where we first met (typical guy). And making me relive those happy memories at a time when there wasn't much happiness to go around.

Thanks to:
Double Blind for making a girl feel sexy even bundled up in heavy winter clothes. Tonight I might be able to fulfill that holiday wish you asked for. You know where to find me.

AND A VERY SPECIAL THANKS TO:
Pogue Moran for reminding me that this world is filled with idiots, jerks, jackasses and pussies (his word, not mine). For taking the heat and then turning the temperature up. For being caustic, annoying, grating but still lovable and funny at the same time (mostly). For pimping his site Xbox 360 Gaming World until I finally joined. And for all the friends I've made from there. I thank him for sticking up for me when strangers attack my gameplay. I thank him for his one liner come backs and that he knows so many gamer's mothers. I thank him for being single and being able to flirt with him shamelessly without guilt. Maybe someday his wildest fantasies (and my worst nightmares) might come true and we'll meet. I'm thankful he lets me rib him (and no, I didn't say rub him) constantly and doesn't take it personally. While it might be somewhat embarrassing to admit this in public, but Pogue Moran is a good guy. AND IT'S HIS BIRTHDAY TODAY!!!!!! Happy Birthday! Merry Christmas! And thank you!

There, are you happy now?

What I am thankful for . . .

There doesn't seem like much to be thankful for, game related, this year. Having someone break into my house and steal all my video games and systems just sucks. But I've been thinking, and there are some things I'm thankful for. Like:

1) killafoola
He's the first person that let me follow him around in Star Wars Battlefront and really learn how to play the game when I was a noobie. I sucked, but he didn't mind. I learned a lot from him. Tactics I still use today.

2) Evil Ric
He's the first person to ever talk to me during a video game that wasn't related to me. I think he's also the first person to send me a friend request instead of me sending one to them. And believe it or not we're still friends and we talk almost every night. I guess if he can stand me after 5+ years maybe there's something lovable about me after all. (Of course he might tend to disagree with that.)

3) MasvHdWndHarry
During a rather troublesome Gears of War public match (on Escalation) some of the other members of our team (not friends of either of us) started barking at me and what a horrible player I was. Masv stood up to them and let them have it. I've always remember that and I can't tell you how much his chivalry has meant to me. Then and now.

4) El Sand Dog
When I play with him I always feel good about how I play . . . even if I suck. He just has a way to make even your most embarrassing, or game losing mishaps, nonstressful and totally hilarious. He's the only one I played Wingman with that asked my opinion about what I wanted to do and where I wanted to go. He never strayed far from me either. We were a team. And I got an achievement for that. Besides, all he has to say to me is "How you doing?" and I get all tingling inside.

5) Hell Weasell
I love his sense of humor. He disarms you with his quiet, calm nature, but man he lets off some zingers. He's cracked me up on more than one occasions and sometimes during a bad night of gaming his comebacks might be the only reason why I stick around. And even though I'm a girl and I'm not suppose to be reading his "Bro Code" entries on his profile, I just have to say I love them. I hope he's saved them.

And my list could go on and on, but there's one more I'm thankful for that might seem a little strange.

6) c5ride
c5 gets a little excited and intense when he plays games. And when I do something stupid, which is not hard to do for me, it's not uncommon to hear "Pengwenn, what were you thinking?" or "Pengwenn, where were you?" or even "Pengwenn, for the love of all that's holy why didn't you kill that guy?". You would think I wouldn't be thankful for getting yelled out, but I am in a way. Thankful that he hasn't removed me from his friend's list because of my stupid game play. There might come a time in the future when he does, but for right now I take that fact that I'm still on his friends list to mean that I'm not a complete ass when I play.

It's not much to be thankful for when it comes to playing video games, but when all your stuff gets stolen you take what you can get. And for those of you not specifically mentioned I'm thankful for you too. If I listed everyone on my friends list and what they mean to me I might overload blogspot's servers and crash the site. I am thankful for you all. And I mean that. "Truly. Madly. Deeply." And if you can guess what movie that last part is from I'll be even more grateful to you. And I mean that too.

So what are you thankful for?

Military fashionista?

I don't know if I should be more worried that an ex-soldier, who's served 4 tours of duty in Somalia and Iraq, is trying to give me fashion advice for my Xbox Live Avatar. Or, the fact that his advice was "I like you in skirts and boots." What? No top? Oh, that's right. He's a guy. Maybe he's hoping that Microsoft will create a program that makes our avatars jump up and down instead of doing the wave. If they do, and you log in to see "an ancient ruler of Asia" [name withheld] just sitting on the dashboard not playing any games, then you'll know what he's doing. I just hope he doesn't go blind. :)

[insert censored title here]

You know, I'd really love to explain what the last few days have been like when it comes to my online gaming with my friends. In that I'm trying to keep my blog at least at a PG-13 level a full description could only look like this:


Setting: online public Gears of War 2 match

Players: Pengwenn, Genghis Khan, Evil Ric, El Sand Dog, MadMax, c5ride, Fbody, HELL Weasell, El Zaktaz, etc. (some variation of those players)

Pengwenn: I'm out. He got me from behind.

Evil Ric: So where are they now?

Pengwenn (using the kill camera to search for the enemy): Jut a sec.

El Sand Dog: [censored] They got me. [censored] [censored] [censored]

Genghis Khan: Sand Dog where were you? [censored] What the- [censored] Oh yeah [censored] Lookie at what I've got here. [censored]

c5ride: He's coming to your left Ric.

MadMax: You've got one coming up on you Ric.

Pengwenn: You've got one coming on you you from somewhere.

Evil Ric: [censored] Come here you [censored]

Genghis Khan and Evil Ric meet up with their meat shields

Evil Ric: Oh uh, uh uh.

Genghis Khan: Yeah baby!

c5ride: Hey? Am I the last one?

Genghis Khan: Ric and I are still here, but give us a minute.

Evil Ric (dropping the meat shield and getting back in the game): Okay we're done.

El Sand Dog: c5 right behind you [censored] right behind you c5 [censored] look he's right [censored] too late now.

c5ride: [censored] I hate this [censored] game.

El Sand Dog: I told you he's right behind you.


I'm sure I could have shown you more . . . or described the visuals, but like I said I want to keep a PG-13 rating. What I will say is I wonder how much longer some of them are going to have any rep left. I think they're having a contest to see who can get their rep to zero first. I know they were having a "body count" challenge last night. I can't remember who had the higher total. I will say this though, my friends might goof off at the end of the match, or in the middle if we're ahead, but they take offense if anyone on the other teams tries to do to me what they're doing to them. You kind of have to love them for that . . . in their own sick [censored] sort of way.

One of those moods

I'm going to start this entry off with an apology. I need to too. Why? Because I was in one of those moods the other night. And I'm sorry.

I had a long day at work that day and then I had to go to my parent's house. I guess I didn't HAVE to but I like going and seeing my niece and nephews when they come over. What I don't like is that just watching my three year old nephew . . . I'll call him Katastrophe (he's earned the name) . . . makes me want to take a nap. And I don't just mean when he's playing around on the floor. Just getting him to sit still and play a game that he's wanted to play all day long can be a chore. It's enough to drive this childless girl to the doctor to ask for permanent birth control. Now don't get me wrong, I love my nephew. He just does everything at 100 miles an hour and he can be a bit much to take in my peaceful, laid back, stop-and-smell-the-roses type of world.

By the time I got home I was very tired but I wanted to play games. So I did. But there's two things you should know about me when it comes to gaming if you don't know it already. 1) I'm very competitive. While I don't necessarily play to win I do play to be better than you. Unfortunately that rarely happens. It gets frustrating to always see your name at the bottom of the list (especially when the AI are doing better than you). and 2) I can't stand special treatment. I don't want to be treated any differently because I'm a girl. Or because I don't play as well as you. Or for any other reason. If I lament the fact that I haven't gotten any kills yet I don't want to hear "Oh poor Pengwenn. Let's all go in the middle and just stand there so Pengwenn can kill us." I appreciate the sentiment but I want to get my kills because I've earned them not because you took pity on me. There's more to me and gaming than just these two facets but that's enough for what I have to tell you next.

We started playing the game and our lovely host Mad Max asked what map we wanted to play next in Gears 2. Well there was 8 people in the room and most of us had a suggestion (or a comment on someone else's suggestion) that he didn't hear what I had to say. I gave him a hard time about it. I repeated myself, but once again there was other chatter in the room. When he didn't hear me for the second time but had already selected a different match I teased him about it again. What I expected him to say was "Pengwenn we'll play your map next OK?" What happened was that he backed out of the match before it started up and changed the map to what I had suggested (even though more people had suggested the map he originally had).

I got pissed and left the room.

I sat at the dashboard or the menus (I can't remember) and fumed a little bit. Why? Because I was getting special treatment and it felt like I was getting it because I'm such a lousy player and a 'poor Pengwenn needs all the help she can get' type of thing. I know that wasn't his intentions and I know that's probably not what anyone else was thinking. But what *I* was thinking was that everyone was going to be mad because they were looking forward to playing Subway and now they have to play Gridlock and it's all because of me. I told you I'm always at the bottom of the score list, and that's when I play well, I don't need everyone coming after me to show their displeasure (team kill was on so I mean everyone). I debated about joining back in, calling it a night or playing something else.

I joined back in the game, but I wasn't going to say anything while we played Gridlock. After that I didn't say anything because I didn't want to have to explain anything and get all pissed again. Once we were done playing Gridlock I wasn't mad anymore. But I came back for a reason.

I like playing with my friends. No matter how many matches I'm on the bottom of the scoring list I still like to play with them. Don't ask me why. They're funny (just ask Johnny about Christmas trees) and sweet (Zak's new little girl might very well have some interesting first words). And every now and then their gruff exteriors crumble and they show you their soft underbellies and how much of a gentleman they can be. Like Mad Max backing out and picking the map I wanted instead of the one everyone else selected. Their laughter can be contagious . . . or evil. Their directions are always helpful even if they had to yell at you to give them. Their shots can be deadly or life saving. And they always have your back (in public matches anyway). They might kill you even if you're on the same team and they're mostly apologetic about it afterwards. So even though I don't play as well as them I always want to play with them for the entertainment value alone. I came back for that reason.

And because I respect my friends. I'll never be as consistently good as them but I respect their skills as a gamer and them as a person. I'd never want to come face to face with Hell Weasel or Evil Ric with a torque bow in an alley. And I've learned to keep El Sand Dog more than arms length away at all times while playing Gears. And if I ever hear that c5ride has a sniper and has his sights set on the area where I'm at I'm going to cower in the smaller corner I fit in and bury myself until he's long gone. I'm not going to pop my head up for anything. I'm not stupid. And then there's Fbody's shotgun. While the rest of us are still trying to figure out the nuances of the gun in the latest game, he acts like he's been reunited with an old friend. And if someone could just tie some bells around Zak's neck I would greatly appreciate it. And I still haven't seen anyone with a more spectacular boomshot than the one Johnny Blade had on Gridlock several weeks ago. That shot has gone down in history.

Anyway, I play with my friends because I like them and respect them . . . even when I get pissy. And before any of you ask I was not PMSing. So I apologize for all my past moods. And I apologize for any future pissy moods I might get into in the future. Depending on the day I had it might not take much to set me off. Just know this: it will pass. I can't stay mad at you guys forever. After all I still have Pogue Moran on my friend's list don't I?

Identity crisis en masse

I'm so confused.

My friends are all having identity crises. I log in on Monday and three of my friends have changed their names. I know one of them has been talking about it for awhile but I was never sure if he would ever do it. Another one mentioned it in passing one day and the last one just came out of the blue. At least they had the courtesy to send a message to everyone letting their friends know who that strange name was that just seems to sudden;y appear on their list.

But what do I call them?

I've played with these guys for years under one name and now they've changed it. It's like having a kid and naming them Johnny except when they reach five years old you decide they look more like a Chris than a Johnny. I haven't played with them yet but I know when I do as soon as I hear their voice I'll call them by their old name and not the new one. Maybe if we're playing in a room full of friends they'll know how I'm talking about but if there's some strangers there they're not going to have a clue. And quite frankly I probably won't either.

I think until I get use to their new names I'm going to have to keep a play sheet taped up to the TV. Kind of like a baseball manager has for his team. Except instead of stating the batting order and what side they hit from it'll tell me who they were and what name they're going by now. It'll take some getting use to since one of them use to be at the top of my friends list is now towards the bottom; one at the bottom has now moved up to the top; and one dropped from the middle to the bottom. It's just enough to make my head spin.

I don't know who anyone is anymore. So if you're on my friends list and I accidentally delete you, please don't take offense. Just send me a note reminding me of who you are . . . I mean were . . . and I'll accept your friends request or send one of my own. I'm sure you're got your reasons for changing your name but some of us gamers are starting to get old and our memories aren't what they use to be. Besides it's so much more fun taunting you if I know what to call you.

And just because you took the "evil" out of your name doesn't make you any less so. Just thought you should know.

Where have all my friends gone?

So where have all my friends gone?

Up until a couple of days ago it was normal to have 20+ friends online at any given time. But for some reason, I've been lucky to see that number higher than 9. What are they doing? Why aren't they playing? Or are they hiding?

When my brother lost his job he spent a lot of time during the day playing video games. He didn't want me to find out so he changed his online status to show offline so I wouldn't see him playing. (He didn't know that when you do that and you are actually playing a game all your achievements and gamerscore are blanked out. If you are truly offline then other people can still view your achievements.) But once I told him I knew he switched his profile back to show his status. I have another friend who switched to "offline" to avoid the constant badgering of someone on his friends list. Hell, I've been known to show "offline" at time to avoid someone. Some people just can't take a hint. But the latest craze seems to be showing "away" when you really playing a game. Why?

I don't know why this is any better . . . and it might be even worse. If you show "offline" than people won't think you're on playing. If you show "away" then they know you've logged in so they'll send you a message, game invite or chat invite knowing that when you "get back" you jump in and join them in what ever you're doing. Last night I had 9 friends online but 5 of them "away". The funny thing is that the games they were playing while "away" were always changing.

And then there was the guy in the Texas Hold 'Em tournament. His status in the game said "away" but didn't say that on the dashboard. He folded every hand right away and it got down to just me and him. I hadn't paid attention too much to this pattern so I folded a few hands before catching on. Once I realized what he was doing all I had to do was call while I was in the small blinds and I won every hand. Of course at $2/4 and $5/10 dollar blinds it took awhile for him to relieve him of his chips. I won but it didn't really feel like a victory.

Play the game or get out is what I say. I just wish I had some more friends online to play with.

Why can't we just get along?

I hope a little misunderstanding hasn't ruined some friendships.

Here's the story.

I'm in a squad in Chromehounds and a couple of my friends (met in Gears of War) have the game and wanted to play with people they know so they joined our squad. One of the them played a lot with the squad and in 2 weeks time passed me in achievements for the game (I've been playing for 2 months). Another one is having trouble taking Gears out of his machine in order to put something else in.

We had a rare night when the 6 most active members were all on at the same time. Our nation was in ruins. And we wanted the Nation Resurrector achievement. We would play with a purpose. We spend some time all together playing a mission or two for that catching up that infrequent friends often have to do before splitting up and running missions individually (thus hopefully winning more overall occupation points). Some split up in teams of 2; others on their own.

I was by myself running missions and destroying bases and hounds like a madman. Unfortunately, the maps were reset before we could revive our nation. All that effort wasted. I called it a night and tucked myself into bed. (Thanks to boosters we got the Nation Resurrector achievement later on.)

When I got on the next night I had a boat load of messages waiting for me. And 2 fewer people in our squad. It seems that after we split up our squad leader was talking to one of the newer members that he's thinking about removing people from the squad that don't play. "Deadwood" was the term he used. The newbie assumed that that included the Gears-addicted newbie (who hasn't played much) that we're all friends with. So he left the squad, got the Gears-addict to leave and sent a very upset message that he's starting his own squad just for "newbies and deadwood who just want to play to have fun".

If this was all there was to it, it could easily be fixed. Unfortunately, the whole situation grew a life of it's own. My brother, also a member of the squad, sent a message that he was considering leaving the squad and limiting the number of members so that our "renown per member" wouldn't be as bad as it is now with all the inactive squadmates we have. This then lead to other members wondering if there was going to be any kind of squad left at all. And led to hurt feelings.

What our squad leader was referring to was a couple of members that haven't played in at least 6 wars (as long as I've been a member) and who no longer have the game. If they don't have the game to play why should they be in the squad? They're "deadwood". Not knowing this was what he was referring to, the newbie took the comments personally and left.

Although several of us have tried to smooth things over that great camaraderie we had is gone. We don't laugh and tease each other as much. We play quietly. We keep to the necessary game communications and go about our business.

If this only affected my Chromehounds play it would be easier, but the tension and hurt feelings can be felt when I join those ex-squad mates in a game of Gears of War. Fortunately we've played Gears for so long and with other people not brought into this messy situation that those feelings are getting back to normal. I know I'd love to have both guys back (and another one that was going to join soon) but I don't think it's going to happen. Our squad leader said we'll just play a match against them sometime and get it all out on the battlefield.

I guess that's better than some other violent alternative, but I have to wonder why we can't just all get along?