Missed it by that much

So for the last couple of months I've been working my way through the story of Gears of War 2 on Hardcore . . . and in Co-op. I've had several of my friends help me out with this. It started with Kralon, then Weasell and Evil helped out.

There were a few times when I played the game that none of my friends were available to help. For those times I started my game as "public" and waited until someone joined before I did anything. If that person left I would stop until someone else joined my room. Some nights it was frustrating, especially when the same person jumped in and out of my room multiple times. Because I was being careful I thought I wouldn't have any problems getting credit for those rare public co-op sessions. I was wrong.

Weasell and I finally got to the end of the game and I was richly rewarded for the achievements for casual, normal and hardcore, but I didn't get the achievement for playing the entire game in co-op. After trying to remember which chapters I played on my own, Weasell and I loaded a couple of them up and played through them. After 4 or 5 levels the achievement still didn't pop up.

Now I still have to get the achievement for Insane so Weasell and I talked about playing it through that way and the achievement would eventually pop up. I guess that will work but I thought I had kept track of everything. I guess I was off a little bit.

And that time hasn't been the only time I've been robbed of an achievement by one little mistake. There is an achievement in Fable III for playing the entire game without being knocked out in battle. I was doing really well in the game and then I jumped in with Genghis. We were playing in his game but during a battle I got knocked down. At first I was bummed but then realized it was his game so it shouldn't matter in my game.

A couple of days later I was playing in my game and I wasn't paying too much attention to what was going on. I got trapped in an area and before I could get myself out I was taking a lot of damage. Unfortunately I didn't have any healing potions or food on me. Before I knew it I was knocked out. I realized I messed up and I thought the only way to correct it was to get myself out of there. So I went back to the sanctuary. Unfortunately as soon as I did that I regretted my decision.

When you travel back to the sanctuary the game saves your progress. In my attempt to get out of a sticky situation I only made it worse. I had briefly considered getting out of the game completely by going back to the dashboard but I wasn't sure when the last time my game was saved and I didn't want to loose anything. It wasn't until I hopped into the sanctuary and saw that spinning wheel with the chicken that I knew I was screwed. Now the only way for me to get the achievement for not being knocked out in battle is to start the game all over again.

One brief moment of inattention in two different games and I'm out of a couple of achievements.

I will play Gears again to get that Insane achievement but I wasn't planing on doing that anytime soon. As for Fable III, that's also a game I'll put aside for awhile after I've finished it. I've got a lot of other games that I want to play and friends that want to talk about games without having to put out a spoiler warning first because I'm in the room. If I'm still playing "already finished" games then I won't be making any progress on "as yet to be played" games. At this rate I won't be done playing 2007 games until 2012.

The good news is I FINISHED GEARS OF WAR 2. Now all my friends can talk about everything in the game without me having to turn my mic off. The bad news is not many of my friends are playing, or talking about, Gears of War 2. I might have missed out on a couple of achievements by that much, but I've missed out on talking about a great game with friends by so much more.

Real Gamers Do Cry

******SPOILER ALERT FOR GEARS OF WAR 2******

I got Evil to play the Gears of War 2 campaign with me last night. I was still replaying the game up to where I'd previously gotten in the story so I knew everything that was going to happen. And I still cried.

Yes, I'm talking about when Dom finds Maria. The first time you see this scene you don't know what to expect. Yeah, he found her! She looks pretty good. Oh wait. Oh no. I feel so sorry for Dom. Dom don't do it. Dom! Noooooooooooo! Okay, now lets go kill some Locust.

It's a sucker punch to the gut when you see what's happening. Dom becomes a real person with real emotions and you feel sorry for him. He's no longer the minority sidekick to Marcus Fenix. You start to see the price COGs have paid in this war. And if you're any kind of gamer you shed a tear or two. Or, if you're with friends you blame that something got in your eye . . . both of them.

The second time playing through the game you know what's coming up. The scene of loss becomes palatable the closer you get to it. As you get closer and closer to that moment you start to feel it weigh heavy on you. At least I did. I knew the spot. I knew what to expect. And I still cried. I probably cried more this time than last time. Last time I was too shocked to cry much. This time the water works started to flow. Last time it was the punch in the gut surprise. This time it was the emotional connection.

Maybe I got more emotional this time because things in my life have changed since the last time. Someone broke in and robbed me and left feelings of being violated. Friends have come and gone to war. I'm watching as my friend's love lives are struggling or crumbling apart and I'm left thinking about my own barren love life. Is there anyone out there that would love me enough to come looking for me? Would he forgo saving the world if it meant he could save me? Would someone think I'm beautiful even when I'm not? And if things were really bad would he save me by killing me? If I was kidnapped by the Locust I think I would live the rest of my life filled with nothing but work, torture and hours trapped standing up in pods. The world will have moved on from Pengwenn and I would not have a knight in shiny armor (or COG armor) to rescue me.

Now, don't get me wrong. I don't sit at home every night and lament about the nonexistent status of my love life. I'm an independent person and I've enjoyed living on my own. And the thought of being a "damsel in distress" bothers me. If need be I'll rescue myself but sometimes I want someone to rescue me. Sometimes I wish I had someone in life to share things with. Someone to save me. When thieves break in. Or when Locust start kidnapping people and sinking cities. It would be nice to know that someone cares enough to look for/after me.

Yes, I know Gears is just a game. But it's a game with real life emotional context. And when gamers experience that they might get a little teary eyed. Now, if you'll excuse me, my eyes are getting a little misty just writing about this. But if anyone here at work comes by in the next little while I'll just tell them it's allergies, or I got something in my eye . . . both of them.

Bah Humbug to the Christmas Spirit!

I spent over 10 and 1/2 hours trapped in the the back seat of a pickup truck, feeling sick and listening to nothing but Christmas music on our drive home after Thanksgiving. Needless to say I was done with Christmas long before I finished digesting Thanksgiving dinner. Well, almost. I was a little sick.

Sense then I've tried to get into the Christmas spirit but a single note of a holiday jingle gives me the heaves. People laughing and joyous while I'm struggling to find a parking spot even remotely close to the store I want to go to makes me want to buy a baseball bat and take some practice swings out in the parking lot. I'm already tired of trying to find a specific gift for someone and having to go to six different stores looking for it. Six months ago I could have found that gift anywhere. And don't get me started on wrapping presents. I hate it. I spent a night doing nothing but that and by the end I wanted to step outside my front door and toss those gifts in the general direction of their intended recipients. If they don't make it all the way there? So what. Broken? Who cares. I'm done.

I'm trying hard not to let that Bah Humbug attitude get in the way of anything else, but it's hard. I'm irritable and crabby by the time I come home and no, it's not because it's that time of the month. When I sit down to play video games I don't have the energy or concentration to do anything. If the slightest error/cheap kill/problem comes up I'm out of there. I even pulled a "Pogue" the other night . . . and I was hosting the party. Sorry. I've tried playing several games. Gears 2, Mass Effect, Puzzle Quest 2, Harm's Way, Fable III, the new Doritos game, you name it, I've tried it. I just can't seem to get invested in anything.

It doesn't help my frustration when all I want to do is kill people online and none of my friends are playing. I've tried playing along but it's just not the same . . . and definitely not for someone who's already pissed off. There are too many pricks online who don't care about helping you out or playing like a team. They're only in it for themselves. At least when my friends play that way we all know about it and can compensate as a team for their Rambo style of play. Besides, I miss my friends.

I know it's the holiday seasons and I'm sure there are Christmas parties, family parties and other general meet-and-greets that might be going on that they are participating in. But that doesn't mean I still can't miss them. I also miss my friends who don't have the same games as I do (or vice versa). Some try a game out and don't like, others don't even try. It's hard when the usual group of friends played every night together are now slightly going their own separate ways because of changing tastes in their gaming habits. At least when Star Wars Battlefront was still around we could always go back to a classic. I miss that game.

So I guess if you play with me for the next couple of weeks and I seems a little more pissy than usual, it's just me in the holiday spirit. Don't let that stop you from playing with me (and I'll try not letting that stop me from playing with you). Maybe if some friends played a couple of games with me along with some of our highly entertaining bantar it just might be what I need to get out of my funk and back into the holiday spirit. Or at least a gaming spirit.

For the Love of the Game(r)

I took a trip to see my sister's for Thanksgiving. For five days I was off line in my gaming and I realized something. It wasn't the games I missed, but the gamers.

That might have been because I took my DSLite and PSP with me. Whenever the itch to play something came on me I pulled one of those out. I played for a little bit but eventually put the system up and turned to something else. It was nice to play games that I hadn't played in a really long time. Unfortunately they didn't hold my interest for very long. I felt like they were missing something.

I realized what they were missing early on in my vacation: my friends. I missed playing with people. I missed the camaraderie, support and direction in the game itself, but also the friendship and bizarre conversations my friends and I usually have. I miss finding out how their days were going and what plans they have for the weekend. And with the holiday weekend there were more friends available online than usual. And I missed out on most of it.

Now this is not to say that I sat around with a bunch of strangers and didn't talk to anyone. I was with family and had some good times. But I could have done without the 10 1/2 hours straight of nothing but Christmas music on the ride home. There is just so many time a person can hear "Do you hear what I hear?" without turning into a slobbing, axe-wielding psychopath. I think I was 10 minutes away from that transformation.

I did borrow dain's laptop to jump online and check out what my friends were playing, but that made me miss them even more. To have a group of friends in your life almost every night then to suddenly be without them for 5 whole days is very shocking to the system. Yes, I know, I should probably get out more often. But I like my life and see no real reason to change it (with a few exceptions). Even playing with Pogue and his lag and echo is more appealing than playing alone. Of course, after an hour or two with that whining and echoing buzzing in my ear playing alone sounds pretty good.

I remember when it was all about the game for me. I wanted to own every system so I could get whatever games I wanted and wouldn't worry about where to play them. But lately I've felt less and less like buying a PS3 and taping into that game market. Why? Because I wouldn't want to miss out on a night playing with my friends.

I tried to explain this concept to my mother a while ago. She seems to think that you can't really be friends with someone you haven't met. I totally disagree. I've spent more time with my "online" friends than I ever would if we had met in real life. And I spend more time with them than my mother spends with her friends. Plus I KNOW things about them that I'm sure my mother would never find out similar things about her friends.

Maybe it's a generational thing. Maybe it's a gamer thing. It doesn't matter to me because I've come to realize I play for the love of my gamer friends no matter the game or the system.

A lament for a missing gamer

(Sung to the tune of "Oh Where, Oh Where has my little dog gone")

Oh where, oh where has our Genghis Khan gone
Oh where, oh where can he be?
With his 360 dead and his Gears game broke
Oh where, oh where can he be?

You've all been wondering. Now we know, a little bit anyway. Genghis is still alive . . . but his Xbox 360 is not. Nor is his Gears of War 2 game disk. He popped on to someone's computer last night and sent me a quick message to say he was still alive but that his 360 crashed and ate up his Gears 2 disk in the process. (And I thought the stuffed suits at Microsoft were the only hungry bastards in the company.) I don't know any more than that, so don't ask.

Once he can find a lending/buying solution to his Xbox 360 woes he'll be back. Don't know when. Don't know with what games (if any) either. If there ever was a time to pass around a collection plate, now would be the time. I'm thinking about it, but I'll let you know.

So, let us all bow our heads at the passing of yet another Xbox 360. I don't know how much the rights are to the song, but I think Microsoft needs to hire Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust" song as their anthem. I think these parts are particularly poignant:

There are plenty of ways you can hurt a man
And bring him to the ground
You can beat him
You can cheat him
You can treat him bad and leave him
When he's down

and

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey, I'm gonna get you too
Another one bites the dust

Investing in the life span of Fruit Flies

So, let me sum up my gaming experience for the past 12 months:

a) got all my game stuff stolen (Nov)
b) replaced my 360 with an elite (Nov)
c) sent my elite back for repairs for not reading disks (Feb)
d) received a brand new replacement elite (March)
e) sent new replacement in for repairs for not reading disks (June)
f) bought a new backup Arcade while waiting for my replacement (June)
g) received a new replacement elite straight from the manufacturing plant (June)
h) gave my backup Arcade to dain so he could play (June)
i) sent my new new replacement elite in for repairs for not reading disks (Oct)
j) borrowed back my new Arcade from dain (Oct/Nov)
k) while waiting for my new, new, new replacement console to be shipped back started having problems with my Arcade not reading disks (Nov)
l) will make arrangements to send my new backup Arcade in for repairs once my new, new, new elite replacement arrives (Nov)

Notice a pattern?

Since when does Xbox 360s have a 3-4 month life span? I think this is just ridiculous. If the place I worked had such a low standard for the products we put out we would be out of business within a year. Microsoft, on the other hand, seems to be above all that. "If you want to play our games you'll just buy another system" seems to be their company motto. Over the course of my Xbox 360 playing days I've purchased 4 separate 360s (including replacing what got stolen). In that same amount of time and longer I've used the same refurbished original Xbox, GameCube and Super Nintendo. I did have to replace my fat PS2 with a slim PS2 after the break in. My Super Nintendo is still going strong today. Why can't Microsoft make a product that last half as long as that?

When I bought the backup Arcade console this past summer I swore that that would be the last time I bought a system in this generation. That was before the new "slim" versions came out and I was tempted. But I figured Microsoft has received enough of my money for the last 5-6 years that I wouldn't be feeding the hog anymore. Unfortunately I'm tempted again to look into getting a "slim". If it was a guarantee that I wouldn't have any of the problems I've been having I would do it in a heart beat, but it's Microsoft and the only guarantee from them is that they think their customers are suckers.

I use to think that it was great that certain games were exclusive to one system or another. I had all the systems so it didn't matter to me. Besides, it was nice rubbing it into the faces of my friends that I owned a game that they didn't just because they didn't have the system for it. When Final Fantasy XIII was first announced it was only going to be for the PS3. Dain and I both said we wouldn't get a PS3 until then. When the announcement was made that Final Fantasy XIII was going to be released on the 360 at the same time (instead of months or years later) I had no real reason to go out and get the system (other than the fact that I just wanted it).

Microsoft seems to think that gamers are so hooked into playing the games that they can only get on their system that if those systems fail those gamers will not wait for repairs and go out and buy another one. Red Ring of Death? Buy a replacement. E4 error? Replacement. Failure to read disks? Replacement. You want to play games like Halo, Fable and Gears right? Well there's only one console to play those on and if it breaks, oh well. Buy another one.

I remember when the RRoD was in full swing. A couple of kids from Texas started a class action suit against Microsoft because of the problem. I don't think the lawsuit is over yet but if/when it is it won't mean much to everybody. So Microsoft gets fined? So what? They've got money coming out of their asses. I was angry then because a couple of punk kids could have really messed things up for the rest of us (and I don't like someone else telling me how to feel about something). If that all happened now with the way that I feel I would say "burn them all to the ground". I'm tired of being used, mistreated and cheated. This debacle of a manufacturing and quality assurance system has got to change. If it doesn't then I might have to.

And I don't want to.

Xbox Live did one thing right. It helped me meet some great friends. If I walked away from my 360 and said "never again" I would be walking away from people I've come to know and love (or at least pleasantly tolerate). Maybe some of my friendships would still survive if one or both of us give up the 360 habit and turned to other forms or entertainment. I suspect most of them wouldn't. And that makes me sad. As great as those friendships are they might not last as long as the life span my 360 seem to have lately. But then again, it might get to the point were fruit flies live longer than 360 consoles. I just hope I'm not still buying them then.

Wham Bam! Thank you ma'am

So yesterday I got this message on Xbox Live:

"Do you want to get married in Fable III and have a kid?"

With a romantic proposition like that how could a girl refuse? If it would have come from a stranger I would have deleted it right away. But it came from a friend. They also mentioned that 2 achievements were involved just in case I didn't know.

Even before Fable III came out, as soon as I learned that you could marry/have sex/have a child with your friends (and I guess total strangers) on Xbox Live I wondered when someone would ask me. And I also wondered how you started that conversation. I also wondered who the first person would be to proposition me.

The first person to mention anything was Pogue who promptly put a question up on Facebook about what the first person gets for sleeping with me. I didn't want to encourage him (give Pogue and inch and he will go a mile) so I let his comment slide.

I thought for sure that some of my friends would try to marry others and leave me out of it, but apparently there are no gay marriages in the land of Albion. So I wasn't surprised at who sent the message (I'll call him ALPHA to protect his [somewhat] innocence). And I wasn't surprised at someone else who wanted to "marry" me first (I'll call him BRAVO).

When I turned on my 360 last night it was, once again, having problems reading disks. This would be the fourth machine (3 elites, 1 arcade) that is having the same problem ALL WITHIN A YEAR. (I'll say more on that in a later post.) I called dain over to see if we can figure out why all my systems are failing with the same problem. This led to a lot of log in/log out moments for me. BRAVO sent me a message asking if I wanted to play Fable III. No proposal. No proposition. Just a simple message for a game invite. I explained to him that I was having problems and that I'd let him know when I was able to play.

About 45 minutes later I finally was able to get online and play. I jumped in a party with ALPHA and gave him a hard time about his message. What? No wining or dining? At least he could play a song on the Lute for me first. The funny part was Evil jumped into our party in the middle of our conversation and heard ALPHA say "we'll have sex and have a child, what do you say to that?" Evil's response was a befuddled "um, okay there". I left ALPHA to explain to him what was going on and I jumped into a party with BRAVO to tell him I was ready to play. A little while later ALPHA jumped in with us and all hell broke loss.

ALPHA thought he was going to wed and bed me first, but I had promised BRAVO over an hour ago that I'd play with him (although no mention of marriage was involved). ALPHA made a comment about "sloppy seconds" that almost jeopardized his chance of getting lucky at all that night. (Who you calling sloppy?) But in the end we worked it out. I invited BRAVO in, we got married, had sex, and had a child. Then he stepped out of my game and I invited ALPHA in. That's when the groping began.

Yes, Fable has expressions where you can hug, kiss and dance with someone, among other things. I guess it was ALPHA's form of foreplay, and sometimes "thanks" afterwards. But come on. A girl's got a game to play. ALPHA and I eventually got married, had sex, had a child, then some more groping before I finally took him around the town so he could buy legendary weapons from my game. We joined in a partnership and he bought a few property then finally left my game (after another round of horizontal hokey-pokey).

BRAVO came back into my game and we spent the rest of the night playing some side missions, shopping for property/weapons and shooting gnomes. The villager that I created online finally showed up in the game so I introduced the two. We rolled around in the sack a couple more times before we finally went to bed . . . in the real world.

As an added treat for both guys before each wedding I went back to my sanctuary and took off all my clothes . . . at least the ones the game lets me. I think they really enjoyed that (BRAVO had seen me 'naked' before). I guess I'll have to do the same thing for any other friend that wants to marry me and have a kid in the game for a couple of achievements. It would have been funny if gay marriage was allowed. Then ALPHA and BRAVO would have invited me to their wedding as a guest and not a participant. Which would have been interesting if you could get an orgy going with your friends. (I don't think my friends would let me play anything else if that was the case.)

After a stressful, frustrating beginning to the night trying to get my 360 working properly it was a great relief and one hell of a good time to play with, marry, have sex with, have a child with a couple of friends in Fable III. I needed that, in more ways than one. I just hope I don't become a two-bit floozy with them thinking they can meet me any time for a booty call in the game. I'll be happy to oblige, but I don't want to be yelled at for not finishing another game because my friends won't let me out of the bedroom.