Perhaps yesterday's post was a bit premature.
Yesterday Zoe didn't have a good day at all. I could tell she was uncomfortable and hurting. I had to give her a sedative twice to help her relax and get comfortable. To be honest, I wasn't comfortable either. It's definitely summer here now and temperatures were over 110 degrees. But I haven't had half my tail chopped off.
Last night I did notice that she had started to bleed through her bandage. It was good that she still had her bandage on, but not good that she was bleeding. I had to take her in the vet this morning and the news was even worse than that.
The tip of her short tail has gotten infected because she won't leave it alone and keeps chewing at it no matter how many times I scold her or swat her butt. Now the tissue is starting to die. She's going to have to go back on Monday for another surgery to remove even more of her tail. Hopefully it will be so short now she won't be able to get to it to chew on it.
Until then they changed her meds and how often she takes them. Since they make her very sleepy and she's taking them more often she's basically going to be sleeping from now until Monday morning. And that's the way they want her. They figure if she's sleeping, she's not chewing on her tail. Unfortunately she's an older dog (about 10 years old) and losses control of her bowls when she's heavily sedated. I'm going to have a fun weekend ahead of me.
I know that the sedation is necessary to help her heal, but I feel like a real jerk giving it to her. But I can't be mad at her. What happened was a complete accident and one of her own doing. Even the chewing of the tail doesn't make me mad because that is what anyone would do if something irritated them and they wanted to scratch it. Even losing control of her bowls and pooping in the house I can't get mad at. That's what happens to the best of us if we were sedated so much and couldn't control or do things.
There's no one to get mad at and I really want to get mad at someone and vent my frustrations. Usually when I feel this way, I like to play games like Gears of War or Call of Duty. Blowing people's brains out is very therapeutic. Unfortunately, I'm so emotional exhausted by this whole thing (going on 4 weeks now) that I don't have the mental energy to do anything except veg out and start at the wall. Hey, that's what my dog does too. Except she's on drugs and I'm just exhausted. Oh well.
If you see me online and I seem kind of out of it, now you know why. Please go easy on me. Maybe let me win a few more games that I normally would. Or better yet, let me blow your brains out. It's okay, you'll respawn.
Saturday, June 4, 2016
Friday, June 3, 2016
The May Day of all months
May was a particularly hard month for me this year. I worked from home a lot, which would normally be a welcome treat, but I did it so much I started to feel stir crazy in my own home. But that's not the really bad thing.
I took my dog Zoe to my parents house for Mother's day. I brought her in to the house and then put her in the backyard while I went back to my car to get my Mother's Day present for my mom. When I was coming back in to the house I heard a loud crash and a dog yelp. Now, my parents have a dog named Coco but every parent knows the sounds their own child makes and I knew that sound came from Zoe.
Apparently she was running across their new tile floors and tried to change direction and slipped and crashed into a very heavy, very solid oak wood dinning room chair. The chair come down on her tail and hurt her. Except we didn't know that right away. When I got in to see her, she didn't seem in pain or hurting. She was running around the house wagging her tail like nothing happened. That was until my mom came out of her bedroom and wanted to know if anyone was bleeding.
We course said no . . . but the blood splatters all over the walls told a different story.
I took Zoe outside and hosed her off as best I could because I could see a lot of blood on both her hips. Once the water ran clear I checked her out and she seemed to be fine. I left her outside and went back in to help clean up the mess. There was blood everywhere. She got blood through 2 hallways and 3 rooms. Every time she wagged her tail it splashed across whatever surface was near by. And not just at tail height. There was blood splatter about shoulder height to humans.
It took about a hour of four people cleaning up the mess. Then we sat down and had our Mother's Day dinner. We decided that I should probably take Zoe to a vet to be checked out because that was a lot of blood, even though she didn't appear to be hurt.
We let her back in and immediately she got blood on things again. Outside she went. She was once again covered in blood but we couldn't quite tell where it was coming from. Her tail, obviously, but she had a lot of blood all over the rest of her.
After a crazy time trying to find an emergency vet open at 6pm on a Sunday night I finally get Zoe in to see someone. The only place she got hurt was her tail but she had multiple lacerations on her tail. They wrapped it up, pumped her full of pain medicine and antibiotics and outfitted her with a not so stylish Cone of Shame. She was loopy and not happy about any of it.
After 4 vet visits over the next 8 days it was finally decided that we wouldn't be able to save her tail and that part of it would have to be amputated. :(
One of the things I love the most about Zoe is that her tail is always wagging and you always know how happy she is by how fast she's wagging it. Also, when I'm eating dinner and she knows not to jump up on me or get in my face she will sit very still except for the tip of her tail which twitches back and forth like it's saying "I can't hold all of my energy in so I'm going to let it out just through the tip of my tail". Now that's gone.
She had surgery on the 18th and lost just more than half her tail. She was feeling better but now she's pretending that the cone on her head doesn't exist and barrels in to everything like she doesn't care. It's really annoying. But I'm not going to complain because she's alive and feeling much better. It could have been so much worse.
And it's kind of been worse. Ever since the surgery she keeps ripping off the bandage that they've put on the nub of her tail. She's not suppose to get to it with the cone on her head but she's figured out a way to use her knee to bend the cone a certain way so that she can just get to the tip of her tail. She's ripped out 1 stitch and partially ripped out another one. This has only resulted in more vet visits and vet telling me she's not healing up like she should because she keeps chewing on her tail.
Because of this, they increased her nerve blocking pain meds which make her very sleepy. They also gave me a sedative to give her if she starts going after her tail. Basically I need to keep her in a semi-sedated state until our next appointment on June 7th. It's been 4 days now and she's been sleeping almost the entire time. When she is up and awake she walks around like a drunken sailor who would never pass a DUI checkpoint or an old woman who's joints are too sore to bend. If you try to pet her you'll likely collapse her legs and make her fall down. She's that out of it. She's also taken to just stopping and staring blankly at whatever is in front of her. Could be a wall. Could be nothing.
As for me . . . well, I've been a nervous wreck ever since it happened. I've been worried sick about her and it's been very hard for me to play video games or edit the videos I've already recorded because of how bad I feel. On top of that, now I feel extra guilty because I have to keep her drugged up. I feel like such a bad mommy.
I haven't posted as many videos in May as I would have liked. I actually had to resort to posting videos in a new game (Lego Harry Potter) because those were the easier videos to edit that I had already filmed. I wasn't actually going to start that series until I finished Psychonauts. Forget about trying to playing Psychonauts. That game is really frustrating for me right now and I just don't have the energy to try, fail, die and try again. Over and over again. It takes a lot out of you and I don't have that much in the tank right now.
I am starting to find some mental energy to get back in to gaming. I tired just playing things for fun. It seems to have worked. Overwatch helped with that. We've still got a lot of healing left to do. Hopefully everything will go well at our next vet appointment. I can't wait for Zoe to get her cone off. She's turned it in to a Weapon of Mass Destruction against me and my house. I've changed my vacation plans in the middle of June because of her. Whenever I think about how much of a hassle this has all been, I remind myself that things could have been much worse. Let's hope that eventually things will get better.
I took my dog Zoe to my parents house for Mother's day. I brought her in to the house and then put her in the backyard while I went back to my car to get my Mother's Day present for my mom. When I was coming back in to the house I heard a loud crash and a dog yelp. Now, my parents have a dog named Coco but every parent knows the sounds their own child makes and I knew that sound came from Zoe.
Apparently she was running across their new tile floors and tried to change direction and slipped and crashed into a very heavy, very solid oak wood dinning room chair. The chair come down on her tail and hurt her. Except we didn't know that right away. When I got in to see her, she didn't seem in pain or hurting. She was running around the house wagging her tail like nothing happened. That was until my mom came out of her bedroom and wanted to know if anyone was bleeding.
We course said no . . . but the blood splatters all over the walls told a different story.
I took Zoe outside and hosed her off as best I could because I could see a lot of blood on both her hips. Once the water ran clear I checked her out and she seemed to be fine. I left her outside and went back in to help clean up the mess. There was blood everywhere. She got blood through 2 hallways and 3 rooms. Every time she wagged her tail it splashed across whatever surface was near by. And not just at tail height. There was blood splatter about shoulder height to humans.
It took about a hour of four people cleaning up the mess. Then we sat down and had our Mother's Day dinner. We decided that I should probably take Zoe to a vet to be checked out because that was a lot of blood, even though she didn't appear to be hurt.
We let her back in and immediately she got blood on things again. Outside she went. She was once again covered in blood but we couldn't quite tell where it was coming from. Her tail, obviously, but she had a lot of blood all over the rest of her.
After a crazy time trying to find an emergency vet open at 6pm on a Sunday night I finally get Zoe in to see someone. The only place she got hurt was her tail but she had multiple lacerations on her tail. They wrapped it up, pumped her full of pain medicine and antibiotics and outfitted her with a not so stylish Cone of Shame. She was loopy and not happy about any of it.
After 4 vet visits over the next 8 days it was finally decided that we wouldn't be able to save her tail and that part of it would have to be amputated. :(
One of the things I love the most about Zoe is that her tail is always wagging and you always know how happy she is by how fast she's wagging it. Also, when I'm eating dinner and she knows not to jump up on me or get in my face she will sit very still except for the tip of her tail which twitches back and forth like it's saying "I can't hold all of my energy in so I'm going to let it out just through the tip of my tail". Now that's gone.
She had surgery on the 18th and lost just more than half her tail. She was feeling better but now she's pretending that the cone on her head doesn't exist and barrels in to everything like she doesn't care. It's really annoying. But I'm not going to complain because she's alive and feeling much better. It could have been so much worse.
And it's kind of been worse. Ever since the surgery she keeps ripping off the bandage that they've put on the nub of her tail. She's not suppose to get to it with the cone on her head but she's figured out a way to use her knee to bend the cone a certain way so that she can just get to the tip of her tail. She's ripped out 1 stitch and partially ripped out another one. This has only resulted in more vet visits and vet telling me she's not healing up like she should because she keeps chewing on her tail.
Because of this, they increased her nerve blocking pain meds which make her very sleepy. They also gave me a sedative to give her if she starts going after her tail. Basically I need to keep her in a semi-sedated state until our next appointment on June 7th. It's been 4 days now and she's been sleeping almost the entire time. When she is up and awake she walks around like a drunken sailor who would never pass a DUI checkpoint or an old woman who's joints are too sore to bend. If you try to pet her you'll likely collapse her legs and make her fall down. She's that out of it. She's also taken to just stopping and staring blankly at whatever is in front of her. Could be a wall. Could be nothing.
As for me . . . well, I've been a nervous wreck ever since it happened. I've been worried sick about her and it's been very hard for me to play video games or edit the videos I've already recorded because of how bad I feel. On top of that, now I feel extra guilty because I have to keep her drugged up. I feel like such a bad mommy.
I haven't posted as many videos in May as I would have liked. I actually had to resort to posting videos in a new game (Lego Harry Potter) because those were the easier videos to edit that I had already filmed. I wasn't actually going to start that series until I finished Psychonauts. Forget about trying to playing Psychonauts. That game is really frustrating for me right now and I just don't have the energy to try, fail, die and try again. Over and over again. It takes a lot out of you and I don't have that much in the tank right now.
I am starting to find some mental energy to get back in to gaming. I tired just playing things for fun. It seems to have worked. Overwatch helped with that. We've still got a lot of healing left to do. Hopefully everything will go well at our next vet appointment. I can't wait for Zoe to get her cone off. She's turned it in to a Weapon of Mass Destruction against me and my house. I've changed my vacation plans in the middle of June because of her. Whenever I think about how much of a hassle this has all been, I remind myself that things could have been much worse. Let's hope that eventually things will get better.
Tuesday, March 8, 2016
Completing games makes me Happy!
One of my goals with my YouTube channel was that I wanted to complete more games that I actually was. Which wasn't a huge goal that was unobtainable since I wasn't completing any games at all. If I could just complete one game I would have met this goal. Fortunately for me I haven't completed just one game. I've completed 6 games . . . so far.
The first game to complete was also a special one because not only was it a "complete to end credits" completion, but also a "earn all achievements" completion. It was Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga. (How fitting that is has "complete" in the game title.) Now, I've played (and completed) that game on Playstation 2 many years ago but I wanted the achievements and the gamer score. Unfortunately getting robbed put me back to the beginning and I lost all of my progress. But I did it. There were levels and tasks that I thought I would never get done right (damn you Blue Barrels on that last mission) but I stuck with it and I'm proud of myself for not giving up.
I've also been able to start AND complete the following games since I started posting videos:
Dead Space
Costume Quest (including DLC)
Valiant Hearts: The Great War
Medal of Honor
Stacking (including DLC)
That's a total of 6 games that I've started AND completed which is about 6 more than I've done in any other year (for the most part). At least that part of my YouTube channel has been successful. And to top it off a couple of those games also had DLC that I completed. They are also smaller games to begin with but it's still a completion to me. I've got 2 full size "retail" games in there too.
I'm also getting close (I think) to completing Psychonauts. I'm not sure how long the game is but based on my psychic level (about 47) I figure I'm about half way through the game. Unfortunately sickness and allergies have slowed down the time for recording new episodes. It's kind of hard to play a video game and talk when you're having trouble breathing or you're sniffling all the time because of allergies. It sucks.
I think if I started filming the 4 games that I'm suppose to complete based on the post that got this blog started, I would get them done this year. Unfortunately, I've already started those games and they wouldn't be a full play through. I think some of them would be okay, but I don't think that would be good for Final Fantasy VII. Everybody loves that game and who would want to watch a partial play through only? Not me. But I don't want to start it all over again just to record footage. I might, but I'm not there yet.
I wish I had more time to play and edit videos. I think I'd finish more games if I did. This day job is really getting in the way. Oh well. I just have to do the best I can with what I've got. Which is only a couple of hours each night during the week. And if I'm editing, I'm not playing. And if I'm not playing, I'm not finishing games. It's such a vicious cycle. I'll take what I can get now and right now I've finished 6 games that I probably wouldn't have done so without keeping a schedule and posting videos on YouTube. That makes me happy!
The first game to complete was also a special one because not only was it a "complete to end credits" completion, but also a "earn all achievements" completion. It was Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga. (How fitting that is has "complete" in the game title.) Now, I've played (and completed) that game on Playstation 2 many years ago but I wanted the achievements and the gamer score. Unfortunately getting robbed put me back to the beginning and I lost all of my progress. But I did it. There were levels and tasks that I thought I would never get done right (damn you Blue Barrels on that last mission) but I stuck with it and I'm proud of myself for not giving up.
I've also been able to start AND complete the following games since I started posting videos:
Dead Space
Costume Quest (including DLC)
Valiant Hearts: The Great War
Medal of Honor
Stacking (including DLC)
That's a total of 6 games that I've started AND completed which is about 6 more than I've done in any other year (for the most part). At least that part of my YouTube channel has been successful. And to top it off a couple of those games also had DLC that I completed. They are also smaller games to begin with but it's still a completion to me. I've got 2 full size "retail" games in there too.
I'm also getting close (I think) to completing Psychonauts. I'm not sure how long the game is but based on my psychic level (about 47) I figure I'm about half way through the game. Unfortunately sickness and allergies have slowed down the time for recording new episodes. It's kind of hard to play a video game and talk when you're having trouble breathing or you're sniffling all the time because of allergies. It sucks.
I think if I started filming the 4 games that I'm suppose to complete based on the post that got this blog started, I would get them done this year. Unfortunately, I've already started those games and they wouldn't be a full play through. I think some of them would be okay, but I don't think that would be good for Final Fantasy VII. Everybody loves that game and who would want to watch a partial play through only? Not me. But I don't want to start it all over again just to record footage. I might, but I'm not there yet.
I wish I had more time to play and edit videos. I think I'd finish more games if I did. This day job is really getting in the way. Oh well. I just have to do the best I can with what I've got. Which is only a couple of hours each night during the week. And if I'm editing, I'm not playing. And if I'm not playing, I'm not finishing games. It's such a vicious cycle. I'll take what I can get now and right now I've finished 6 games that I probably wouldn't have done so without keeping a schedule and posting videos on YouTube. That makes me happy!
Wednesday, February 24, 2016
I really fucked things up!
I don't know how I did it, but I really fucked things up in my last recording in Psychonauts. I've been trying to fix it for the last couple of days and it's just not gonna happen. I was able to figure out a "work around" to the problem, but then I was fucking that up as well. I think that's all straightened out now so hopefully I'll be able to get a video posted in the next day or so.
The first fuck up: audio
I don't know how I did it but I recorded the audio for one session in Psychonauts over the top of the previous session I had recorded. It didn't replace the audio for that session but just added the additional dialogue to the existing track. I didn't catch that my system did this when I synced because I never talked at the same time on both of these tracks. I didn't realized my error until I went to edit the file and got about 17 minutes in when I noticed that I was double talking. It took me a while to figure out what was happening, but when I did I didn't panic. I thought I'll just go back to the original audio and resync with the game play. That's when I realized that the original audio was fucked up because the raw footage was saved together. I didn't have separate recordings for both videos.
I spent a bunch of time trying to find a way to split the tracks so I could delete one and keep the other. Couldn't figure out how to do that. I figured out how to separate from stereo to mono, but that didn't help me. After messing with the file for 3 days I finally gave up and decided I would post the game play video without my lovely commentary. I'm sure no one would mind.
The second fuck up: video
I remember when I was playing I accidentally triggered a cut scene before I was ready to record. I hurriedly pressed the record button on the game play and just never activated the audio recording (which is probably why it took so long for my audio tracks to overlap). When the cut scene was done I stopped the recording and took the time to get things set up properly before recording. I figured when I edited the video I would just add this cut scene to the beginning of my recording and everything would be okay.
When I gave up on the audio I started working on putting the original game play clips together to make one cohesive video. Except whenever I added the game play clip to the cut scene clip the game play clip would error out and become unwatchable. WTF? I tried cut scene + clip #1 = unviewable error after processing. I tried cut scene + clip #2 = unviewable error after processing. I even tried clip #1 + clip #2 = unviewable error. So I gave up and close down my editing program.
Except I hate giving up.
I came back to it a little while later (I will not have a program defeat me!!!!). I put clip #1 and clip #2 together and after they were done processing they were viewable. Hallelujah!!! I quickly saved that configuration and called it a night. Now I've got to see if I can get the cut scene attached to the game play clips and still have everything viewable.
The cut scene is kind of important so I can't leave it out. If things don't work I guess I could post just the cut scene as one video and then the game play as another. Seems like a lot of work for such a stupid problem. I really fucked things up, but I'm not sure how.
I wish I was better at this editing thing. I wish I had more time to work and figure things out than just a couple of hours after work each night. I thought I was getting better, but then something like this happens and I'm reminded of how much I don't know how to do. I am trying though . . . and hopefully learning too. I guess we'll have to see how everything turns out in the end.
The first fuck up: audio
I don't know how I did it but I recorded the audio for one session in Psychonauts over the top of the previous session I had recorded. It didn't replace the audio for that session but just added the additional dialogue to the existing track. I didn't catch that my system did this when I synced because I never talked at the same time on both of these tracks. I didn't realized my error until I went to edit the file and got about 17 minutes in when I noticed that I was double talking. It took me a while to figure out what was happening, but when I did I didn't panic. I thought I'll just go back to the original audio and resync with the game play. That's when I realized that the original audio was fucked up because the raw footage was saved together. I didn't have separate recordings for both videos.
I spent a bunch of time trying to find a way to split the tracks so I could delete one and keep the other. Couldn't figure out how to do that. I figured out how to separate from stereo to mono, but that didn't help me. After messing with the file for 3 days I finally gave up and decided I would post the game play video without my lovely commentary. I'm sure no one would mind.
The second fuck up: video
I remember when I was playing I accidentally triggered a cut scene before I was ready to record. I hurriedly pressed the record button on the game play and just never activated the audio recording (which is probably why it took so long for my audio tracks to overlap). When the cut scene was done I stopped the recording and took the time to get things set up properly before recording. I figured when I edited the video I would just add this cut scene to the beginning of my recording and everything would be okay.
When I gave up on the audio I started working on putting the original game play clips together to make one cohesive video. Except whenever I added the game play clip to the cut scene clip the game play clip would error out and become unwatchable. WTF? I tried cut scene + clip #1 = unviewable error after processing. I tried cut scene + clip #2 = unviewable error after processing. I even tried clip #1 + clip #2 = unviewable error. So I gave up and close down my editing program.
Except I hate giving up.
I came back to it a little while later (I will not have a program defeat me!!!!). I put clip #1 and clip #2 together and after they were done processing they were viewable. Hallelujah!!! I quickly saved that configuration and called it a night. Now I've got to see if I can get the cut scene attached to the game play clips and still have everything viewable.
The cut scene is kind of important so I can't leave it out. If things don't work I guess I could post just the cut scene as one video and then the game play as another. Seems like a lot of work for such a stupid problem. I really fucked things up, but I'm not sure how.
I wish I was better at this editing thing. I wish I had more time to work and figure things out than just a couple of hours after work each night. I thought I was getting better, but then something like this happens and I'm reminded of how much I don't know how to do. I am trying though . . . and hopefully learning too. I guess we'll have to see how everything turns out in the end.
Thursday, December 31, 2015
New Year Resolutions
So today's the last day of the year and I'm still questioning whether or not I'll survive the year. I just can't get rid of this nasty cough. Oh well. This cold/mono/whatever has really whipped my ass. I got sick the week of Thanksgiving and I've been sick ever since, to varying degrees. It's the cough and extreme tiredness/exhaustion that I'm having the hardest time with.
But the sun keeps coming up and life goes on. And tomorrow is a new year.
With a new year comes New Year Resolutions. I make them every year, but I don't always complete them. Some last almost the whole year. Some are forgotten or given up on before the end of January. Either way, I like setting goals. It's fun and gives me an idea of what I want to accomplish in the next 12 months.
For starters, I have a lot of games. 854 to be exact. And that doesn't count my PC games, just console games. I have a really good inventory system. I kind of have to with all those games. Of all those games 435 are Xbox, Xbox Arcade or Xbox One games. Of those 435 I don't have any achievements in 167 of them. That's 38.39% of games with no gamer score. So one of my New Year Achievements is to get at least one achievement in all the games I own. That's a lot of games to play. I'm pretty sure I won't be able to get an achievement in all of them. I know, because I've tried in some of those games. Either way, I'm going to try.
Speaking of gamer score I think I want to get my gamer score at or above 40,000. I currently have 32,637 and I hope to get a couple more tonight before the new year rings in. That means I have to get 7,363 in 12 months. That's an average of 614 points a month. I think that's very doable. Especially if I'm going to be playing a lot of games. I know a lot of people don't care about achievements and gamer score, but I like to see what I've accomplished in the year besides just knowing I spent X amount of time playing video games. Besides some of those achievements might be hard to get.
I'd also like to complete (i.e. get to the end credits) of 12 games. That's one a month. Might be doable, but it will take some effort and planning to achieve. I'm not sure what those games might be, but I know that a couple of them should be Summoner (PS2), Jedi Outcast (Xbox), Super Mario Sunshine (GameCube) and Final Fantasy VII (PS) since those were the games that started this blog way back on March 2nd, 2007. That's a long time . . . 8 years exactly . . . and I still haven't finished those games. I have noticed that since I started my YouTube channel I've finished several games. That's promising.
The games that I'm the closest to finishing are:
Fable III
Final Fantasy XIII
Gears of War Ultimate Edition
Lost Odyssey
Psychonauts
Rayman Origins
Tomb Raider
Final Fantasy Tactics (PSP)
I think finishing these are doable. I wonder what other ones I can finish before the end of the year. Is there any games you'd like me to play and finish? I'm taking suggestions for my channel and for my New Year Resolutions. Just name something in the comments and I'll let you know if I've got it. If not, I might be able to pick it up. I did get a lot of games through Xbox's sale the last 2 weeks. Not that I needed more games. But they were cheap and I video games are so much fun.
Do you have any New Year Resolutions? If so, let me know in the comments. Maybe there will be something we can work on together.
But the sun keeps coming up and life goes on. And tomorrow is a new year.
With a new year comes New Year Resolutions. I make them every year, but I don't always complete them. Some last almost the whole year. Some are forgotten or given up on before the end of January. Either way, I like setting goals. It's fun and gives me an idea of what I want to accomplish in the next 12 months.
For starters, I have a lot of games. 854 to be exact. And that doesn't count my PC games, just console games. I have a really good inventory system. I kind of have to with all those games. Of all those games 435 are Xbox, Xbox Arcade or Xbox One games. Of those 435 I don't have any achievements in 167 of them. That's 38.39% of games with no gamer score. So one of my New Year Achievements is to get at least one achievement in all the games I own. That's a lot of games to play. I'm pretty sure I won't be able to get an achievement in all of them. I know, because I've tried in some of those games. Either way, I'm going to try.
Speaking of gamer score I think I want to get my gamer score at or above 40,000. I currently have 32,637 and I hope to get a couple more tonight before the new year rings in. That means I have to get 7,363 in 12 months. That's an average of 614 points a month. I think that's very doable. Especially if I'm going to be playing a lot of games. I know a lot of people don't care about achievements and gamer score, but I like to see what I've accomplished in the year besides just knowing I spent X amount of time playing video games. Besides some of those achievements might be hard to get.
I'd also like to complete (i.e. get to the end credits) of 12 games. That's one a month. Might be doable, but it will take some effort and planning to achieve. I'm not sure what those games might be, but I know that a couple of them should be Summoner (PS2), Jedi Outcast (Xbox), Super Mario Sunshine (GameCube) and Final Fantasy VII (PS) since those were the games that started this blog way back on March 2nd, 2007. That's a long time . . . 8 years exactly . . . and I still haven't finished those games. I have noticed that since I started my YouTube channel I've finished several games. That's promising.
The games that I'm the closest to finishing are:
Fable III
Final Fantasy XIII
Gears of War Ultimate Edition
Lost Odyssey
Psychonauts
Rayman Origins
Tomb Raider
Final Fantasy Tactics (PSP)
I think finishing these are doable. I wonder what other ones I can finish before the end of the year. Is there any games you'd like me to play and finish? I'm taking suggestions for my channel and for my New Year Resolutions. Just name something in the comments and I'll let you know if I've got it. If not, I might be able to pick it up. I did get a lot of games through Xbox's sale the last 2 weeks. Not that I needed more games. But they were cheap and I video games are so much fun.
Do you have any New Year Resolutions? If so, let me know in the comments. Maybe there will be something we can work on together.
Saturday, December 5, 2015
Double Fine December
So way back in September when I was filming my videos for October I planned on playing Stacking for the month of December. You see, Costume Quest was made by Double Fine and Stacking is also a game made by Double Fine. And there's an achievement in Costume Quest for finding a small nesting doll in a cave and a message pops up about Stacking. In the Extras section of Stacking there's also reference to Costume Quest. I knew these two games were done by the same developer, but I didn't know the other game I had planned for December was done by them as well.
I've wanted to go back and play Psychonauts and finish it for a long time. Since my memory cards were stolen I would have to start over from scratch. But that was okay because it had been a long time since I played that game.
Unfortunately, I was playing scary or Halloween games for October (I thought Psychonauts would fit in well, but I didn't have the time for three games that month). For November I had already planned on playing military themed games in honor of Veteran's Day. So the earliest I could post videos of Psychonauts would be December. It didn't really strike me as a "December/Christmas" type of game but I was going to do it anyway.
Unfortunately I got really sick at the end of November (still am) and my ability to shot videos ahead of schedule was pretty much squashed. When December started I didn't have any videos recorded and I didn't have much of a voice to do so. But the show must go on, right?
I filmed the first episode of Stacking and moved on to Psychonauts. I was filming that episode on Thursday which was the same night the Video Game Awards show was on TV. While I was playing away apparently there was an announcement that Double Fine is going to crowd fund Psychonauts 2. Yeah! Of course I didn't find this out until the next night when I was trying to edit the video and check up on all the news I've missed that week (it's been very busy at work).
Perfect timing right? I didn't have this planned out other than to put up videos of Psychonauts in December because that was the first available month to do so. And it wasn't until I started filming that I noticed Psychonauts was also made by Double Fine. So this month is more timely that I had planned and is a Double Fine month of videos for my Youtube channel. I don't think I could have planned that out any better.
If you want to contribute to the making of Psychonauts 2 (and why wouldn't you) you can check out their fundraising here: Double Fine's Psychonauts 2 funding. If you want to follow Double Fine on twitter they're at @DoubleFine. Check them out. And you can check out my Double Fine videos on my channel here: Pengwenn's Youtube channel
I've wanted to go back and play Psychonauts and finish it for a long time. Since my memory cards were stolen I would have to start over from scratch. But that was okay because it had been a long time since I played that game.
Unfortunately, I was playing scary or Halloween games for October (I thought Psychonauts would fit in well, but I didn't have the time for three games that month). For November I had already planned on playing military themed games in honor of Veteran's Day. So the earliest I could post videos of Psychonauts would be December. It didn't really strike me as a "December/Christmas" type of game but I was going to do it anyway.
Unfortunately I got really sick at the end of November (still am) and my ability to shot videos ahead of schedule was pretty much squashed. When December started I didn't have any videos recorded and I didn't have much of a voice to do so. But the show must go on, right?
I filmed the first episode of Stacking and moved on to Psychonauts. I was filming that episode on Thursday which was the same night the Video Game Awards show was on TV. While I was playing away apparently there was an announcement that Double Fine is going to crowd fund Psychonauts 2. Yeah! Of course I didn't find this out until the next night when I was trying to edit the video and check up on all the news I've missed that week (it's been very busy at work).
Perfect timing right? I didn't have this planned out other than to put up videos of Psychonauts in December because that was the first available month to do so. And it wasn't until I started filming that I noticed Psychonauts was also made by Double Fine. So this month is more timely that I had planned and is a Double Fine month of videos for my Youtube channel. I don't think I could have planned that out any better.
If you want to contribute to the making of Psychonauts 2 (and why wouldn't you) you can check out their fundraising here: Double Fine's Psychonauts 2 funding. If you want to follow Double Fine on twitter they're at @DoubleFine. Check them out. And you can check out my Double Fine videos on my channel here: Pengwenn's Youtube channel
Monday, November 9, 2015
Things I've learned about myself from YouTube
I've been meaning to post this for awhile, but things in the real world have gotten out of hand for awhile and things are just now getting back to normal. It's amazing how doing several jobs at the same time can wear you out.
In addition to my business review of starting a YouTube channel, I've done a personal review as well. I've wanted to see how this new venture has been affecting me, good and bad. There's been some surprising things I've learned about myself in the process. Let me share them with you (in no particular order).
1) I sigh a lot.
It seems I sigh a lot while I'm recording. I'm not really aware of it, but I hear it when I do the editing. I've been trying to consciously think about NOT doing it but that makes me self conscious about other things and then I start fumbling my words. I have adjusted my gain on the mic and maybe my sighing won't get picked up as often as it has in the past.
2) I say "dude" "guy" "all right" "seriously" and "no no no" a lot.
Sometimes when I listen to myself while I'm editing I think I'm in an old '90s stoner movie because I say "dude" and "guy" and "seriously" a lot. I sometimes sound like I'm stoned too. I don't know where I picked up this verbal ticks and even I find them annoying. The problem is I don't know that I'm saying them until after I've said them. I don't usually think about what I'm saying before I open my mouth. These words just come out naturally. I don't want to try and change them because I think that would make me sound pretentious. I want to sound natural so I guess you'll be hearing a lot of "dude", "guy", "all right", "seriously" and "no no no" a lot.
3) I say "thank you" to AI characters (only sometimes sarcastically)
Like they really have a choice about helping me out. They're programed to do specific things. But sometimes I struggle with them not helping me out, so when they finally do, I thank them. I guess thanking someone is a good things, right? Unfortunately I also use "thank you" sarcastically too. When someone (human or AI) does something not very helpful I thank them sarcastically. That's just me. I can't hold it back. I sometimes get a smart mouth on me. I use to control it better when I was in school because I didn't want to get in trouble, but I'm finding it slips out more often when playing video games. Let the natural sarcastic asshole in me come out. Sorry, I don't think there's anything I can do about this.
4) I make a weird clicking noise with my lips sometimes
I don't know how to explain this. It's not a lip smacking, or teeth sucking noise, but it's not much different. I usually do this when I first start talking, especially if I've been quiet for awhile. I'm not even consciously aware I'm doing it at the time, but I hear it in the editing. I've adjusted the gain on the mic so hopefully it won't pick it up as often. Even though I'm not consciously aware that I'm doing it I think I haven't done it as much since I've become aware of it.
5) It's hard working two jobs.
Because I'm treating this like a second job I take everything I do seriously. I started to keep track of time spent doing things and it's been eye opening. To render, sync, save, edit, resave, compress and upload to YouTube a video that ends up roughly 30 minutes takes about 3 hours to do. That means if I post a video five days a week it takes 15 hours just to edit and upload them. That's not counting filming time. I typically try to keep the filming to 45-50 minutes before ending the recording. Some have gone longer. Some shorter. In the process of editing, I take that 45-50 minutes video and get it down to as close to 30 minutes as I can without losing continuity of the game. So to make 5 videos in a week I need to film for 5-6 hours. That's my Saturday in a nutshell. Sunday is editing as much as I can. The rest of the week is more editing or filming depending on what I need at the time.
That means I spend about 20-30 hours a week on making content for my YouTube channel. That's on top of my 40 hour a week job, laundry, cooking, cleaning, paying bills, real life crap, etc. that I've got to do. At times it's exhausting. I'm not getting paid to spend all that time doing this and I'm okay with that . . . for now. I'm learning so much and it's so much fun to do. Right now what I sacrifice if I need more time is sleep. Which leads me to . . .
6) I'm sleeping a lot less since I started my channel.
I was typically getting 7-8 hours of sleep a night. Even though that was enough sleep sometimes I woke up tired. Now I'm up editing until 11:30pm or 12am before finally calling it a night and slipping in between the sheets for some shut eye since I have to get up at 6am for work. Except I can't shut my brain off. I miss writing and being creative and the editing process on my videos is filling that void in me. Because of that my brain starts reeling when I edit. I think of all the possibilities and my juices start to flow. By the time I need to go to bed my brain is in full gear.
I've tried everything I could think of to shut my brain off so I can get to sleep, but so far nothing has helped. I'll lay in bed until 2:00 or 3:00am before my body is finally so exhausted my brain doesn't have a choice but to power down for the night. This means that I'm only getting 3-4 hours of sleep a night. You would think that I would be dragging myself around the next day at work. But I'm not. Oh sure, my ability to come up with the quick answer is a little bit slower, but I get there eventually. Physically I feel fine. Mentally I'm just a little bit slower than normal. And all this lack of sleep hasn't caught up to me by the end of the week. I usually only get an extra couple of hours of sleep (5-6 hrs) on the weekend from what I get during the week. I don't know if this lack of sleep will eventually catch up to me and rear it's ugly 3-headed monster at me and pound me in to oblivious sleep like Rip Van Winkle, but so far it hasn't affected me and I feel fine.
7) I'm not as depressed as I once was.
Every now and then in my life a wave of darkness seems to come over me. It usually comes when I start thinking that I'm not where I want to be in my career, my life or my relationships. The darkness threatens to overwhelm me but it usually passes within a couple of days or a week or two. I've learned to embrace the darkness instead of fighting it. That seems to help it pass much quicker than it would otherwise. Like a fleeing summer thunderstorm. It comes in menacingly, dumps a bunch of rain all over you, but that moves out and leaves everything fresh and new behind in it's wake.
Ever since I starting my channel I haven't noticed those coming thunderstorms. I don't know if that's I'm just too busy to think on those things that trigger the depression in me, or some other reason. I do know that I'm very happy doing everything for my channel, even if I find it exhausting at times. It's playing the games, the process of editing and making something and seeing that finished product out there in the world that I really enjoy. I don't care that I'm not making any money off of YouTube. Yet, that's all the stories you hear about is some YT celebrity striking it rich where reporters wonder why. I don't care. The process makes me happy and that's good enough for me.
Well, those things are just some of the stuff that I've learned about myself since starting my YouTube channel. There's more I could tell you, but I've bored you enough so far. It's been a fascinating experiment for me and I'm glad I'm doing it. And I'll continue to do so for a long time, I hope. If you're interested you can find my YouTube channel here: Pengwenn's YouTube channel. I hope you have as much fun watching as I've had making the videos. Enjoy!
In addition to my business review of starting a YouTube channel, I've done a personal review as well. I've wanted to see how this new venture has been affecting me, good and bad. There's been some surprising things I've learned about myself in the process. Let me share them with you (in no particular order).
1) I sigh a lot.
It seems I sigh a lot while I'm recording. I'm not really aware of it, but I hear it when I do the editing. I've been trying to consciously think about NOT doing it but that makes me self conscious about other things and then I start fumbling my words. I have adjusted my gain on the mic and maybe my sighing won't get picked up as often as it has in the past.
2) I say "dude" "guy" "all right" "seriously" and "no no no" a lot.
Sometimes when I listen to myself while I'm editing I think I'm in an old '90s stoner movie because I say "dude" and "guy" and "seriously" a lot. I sometimes sound like I'm stoned too. I don't know where I picked up this verbal ticks and even I find them annoying. The problem is I don't know that I'm saying them until after I've said them. I don't usually think about what I'm saying before I open my mouth. These words just come out naturally. I don't want to try and change them because I think that would make me sound pretentious. I want to sound natural so I guess you'll be hearing a lot of "dude", "guy", "all right", "seriously" and "no no no" a lot.
3) I say "thank you" to AI characters (only sometimes sarcastically)
Like they really have a choice about helping me out. They're programed to do specific things. But sometimes I struggle with them not helping me out, so when they finally do, I thank them. I guess thanking someone is a good things, right? Unfortunately I also use "thank you" sarcastically too. When someone (human or AI) does something not very helpful I thank them sarcastically. That's just me. I can't hold it back. I sometimes get a smart mouth on me. I use to control it better when I was in school because I didn't want to get in trouble, but I'm finding it slips out more often when playing video games. Let the natural sarcastic asshole in me come out. Sorry, I don't think there's anything I can do about this.
4) I make a weird clicking noise with my lips sometimes
I don't know how to explain this. It's not a lip smacking, or teeth sucking noise, but it's not much different. I usually do this when I first start talking, especially if I've been quiet for awhile. I'm not even consciously aware I'm doing it at the time, but I hear it in the editing. I've adjusted the gain on the mic so hopefully it won't pick it up as often. Even though I'm not consciously aware that I'm doing it I think I haven't done it as much since I've become aware of it.
5) It's hard working two jobs.
Because I'm treating this like a second job I take everything I do seriously. I started to keep track of time spent doing things and it's been eye opening. To render, sync, save, edit, resave, compress and upload to YouTube a video that ends up roughly 30 minutes takes about 3 hours to do. That means if I post a video five days a week it takes 15 hours just to edit and upload them. That's not counting filming time. I typically try to keep the filming to 45-50 minutes before ending the recording. Some have gone longer. Some shorter. In the process of editing, I take that 45-50 minutes video and get it down to as close to 30 minutes as I can without losing continuity of the game. So to make 5 videos in a week I need to film for 5-6 hours. That's my Saturday in a nutshell. Sunday is editing as much as I can. The rest of the week is more editing or filming depending on what I need at the time.
That means I spend about 20-30 hours a week on making content for my YouTube channel. That's on top of my 40 hour a week job, laundry, cooking, cleaning, paying bills, real life crap, etc. that I've got to do. At times it's exhausting. I'm not getting paid to spend all that time doing this and I'm okay with that . . . for now. I'm learning so much and it's so much fun to do. Right now what I sacrifice if I need more time is sleep. Which leads me to . . .
6) I'm sleeping a lot less since I started my channel.
I was typically getting 7-8 hours of sleep a night. Even though that was enough sleep sometimes I woke up tired. Now I'm up editing until 11:30pm or 12am before finally calling it a night and slipping in between the sheets for some shut eye since I have to get up at 6am for work. Except I can't shut my brain off. I miss writing and being creative and the editing process on my videos is filling that void in me. Because of that my brain starts reeling when I edit. I think of all the possibilities and my juices start to flow. By the time I need to go to bed my brain is in full gear.
I've tried everything I could think of to shut my brain off so I can get to sleep, but so far nothing has helped. I'll lay in bed until 2:00 or 3:00am before my body is finally so exhausted my brain doesn't have a choice but to power down for the night. This means that I'm only getting 3-4 hours of sleep a night. You would think that I would be dragging myself around the next day at work. But I'm not. Oh sure, my ability to come up with the quick answer is a little bit slower, but I get there eventually. Physically I feel fine. Mentally I'm just a little bit slower than normal. And all this lack of sleep hasn't caught up to me by the end of the week. I usually only get an extra couple of hours of sleep (5-6 hrs) on the weekend from what I get during the week. I don't know if this lack of sleep will eventually catch up to me and rear it's ugly 3-headed monster at me and pound me in to oblivious sleep like Rip Van Winkle, but so far it hasn't affected me and I feel fine.
7) I'm not as depressed as I once was.
Every now and then in my life a wave of darkness seems to come over me. It usually comes when I start thinking that I'm not where I want to be in my career, my life or my relationships. The darkness threatens to overwhelm me but it usually passes within a couple of days or a week or two. I've learned to embrace the darkness instead of fighting it. That seems to help it pass much quicker than it would otherwise. Like a fleeing summer thunderstorm. It comes in menacingly, dumps a bunch of rain all over you, but that moves out and leaves everything fresh and new behind in it's wake.
Ever since I starting my channel I haven't noticed those coming thunderstorms. I don't know if that's I'm just too busy to think on those things that trigger the depression in me, or some other reason. I do know that I'm very happy doing everything for my channel, even if I find it exhausting at times. It's playing the games, the process of editing and making something and seeing that finished product out there in the world that I really enjoy. I don't care that I'm not making any money off of YouTube. Yet, that's all the stories you hear about is some YT celebrity striking it rich where reporters wonder why. I don't care. The process makes me happy and that's good enough for me.
Well, those things are just some of the stuff that I've learned about myself since starting my YouTube channel. There's more I could tell you, but I've bored you enough so far. It's been a fascinating experiment for me and I'm glad I'm doing it. And I'll continue to do so for a long time, I hope. If you're interested you can find my YouTube channel here: Pengwenn's YouTube channel. I hope you have as much fun watching as I've had making the videos. Enjoy!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
