The Gods of Catan don't like me

I figured the best way to get all the achievements in an Arcade game was to stop trying to play them all and just focus on one or two. Currently I'm focusing on Texas Hold 'Em and Catan. And I'm not having much luck in either one of them. My Texas Hold 'Em bankroll got wiped out awhile back so now I have to start from scratch. And Catan has been even tougher on me.

For the life of me I simply can not beat 3 AIs on hard. It seems I'll never get that achievement. I've been close . . . but no cigar. I've tried focusing on upgrading my settlements to cities as soon as possible. I've tried getting the longest road as soon as possible. The largest army. The most settlements. I just can't seem to pull it off in the end. I've even tried just buying development cards the whole game. That was a bust.

I tried varying my placements at the beginning of the game. I've tried monopolizing a particular resource. And trying to get a little bit of everything. I've tried uses my cards as soon as possible. And tried to hold on to them as long as possible. When I do that someone always rolls a 7 and I lose almost everything I have. I've even tried swapping out the AIs I play against. I still can't find a way to win the game on hard.

To get my achievement for Builder of Catan (for the longest road 10x) I had to go back and play a few games on easy. On hard someone always stole those points from me just in time win the game. And if you're trying to get the Knight of Catan (largest army 10x) achievement make sure Elizabeth isn't in your party. I've learned that the hard way. I guess I'll have to play some easy games again to finish out that achievement.

And playing a ranked game is impossible. I've joined 4 ranked games, but I've never gotten credit for any of them. My ranked matches show as zero wins/zero losses. Every time I get into a ranked game someone either drops out or lags out leaving 3 human players behind. I don't know if those games would still count because a little while later I'll look up and see all AI gamer pictures staring back at me. Everyone's gone.

At first I thought everyone else dropped out so I kept playing the game. I'd get the credit right? Wrong. After the second time this happened I looked at my recent player's list and found that at least 2 of the other players would be playing a match and have exactly the same victory points as they had in the game with me. Does that mean everyone is lagging out? Why can't I stay in a nice 4 human ranked match? I've played a couple of player matches and haven't had a problem.

I just think the Gods of Catan don't like me.