The key to any great relationship is . . .

The key to any great relationship is . . . communication. Or so I'm told. And finally last night I saw some communication while playing video games.

We had a full team of 6 players for Team Deathmatch in Modern Warfare 2 when a couple more friends jumped online. Normally there are several people who would rather stick needles in their eyes than play a Domination match but last night they bit the bullet, stayed in the group and we got a full team of 9 players for Ground War. That's when the fun began.

I don't have any problem playing Domination. I like having an objective and a purpose to all that running around and killing (or in my case, dying). It gives me an area to concentrate on. A place to defend and wait for the enemy to show up in. It gives me determination to take a particularly difficult flag from the enemy. I'm kind of stubborn like that. Tell me it can't be done and I'll show you how to do it. But not all my friends feel that way.

There were a lot of moaning and groaning when the first Domination match started. And we feel behind rather quickly. But we persevered and eventually won the match . . . once we all started talking to each other. And I don't mean the "soap on a rope" talk that usually prevails with my friends (not that I'm complaining). We finally started to communicate enemy positions, our strategies and team goals. Once we got to the point where we knew where everyone (enemy and friendly) were going we had a handle on the situation and we never lost a Domination match that whole night. Team Deathmatch matches were another story.

When the map options showed Team Deathmatch we reverted back to our individual play styles and the communication dropped off. People were off on their own looking for the enemy wherever they wanted to go with no regards for what the rest of the team was doing. If we had a bit more of a game plan for those Deathmatch games we might have won a few more of them. And we also wonder and complain when the other teams travels in packs or small groups where we kill the first guy we see only to be gunned down by his buddy. Jeez.

I think we all realized our communication style was changing when we started to point out the things we use to say. Like "you bastard" (when spoken towards the enemy) which meant the enemy was coming at us from behind. Or "they're over here" which meant we didn't have a clue where the enemy was. Especially when the person who just died couldn't define where "here" actually was. And "they're coming across" means they were doing a center, direct line assault on our position. Or "I can't find anyone" meant we were being flanked. It all seemed so funny when we realized we were talking to our teammates, but we weren't really saying anything to them. Kind of like an old married couple, I guess.

Maybe this one night of insights into how we communicate will change things going forward. Maybe we won't be a rag tag bunch of "lone wolf" types who do their own things but a more cohesive group of killing machines. We worked together when we played Gears of War so there's hope for us working together now. Or maybe we'll just start some marriage counseling. So tell me . . . how does that make you feel? I'm listening.