Here's Johnny!

He's back, safe and sound. And back to his Xbox gaming glory. Welcome home Johnny! And thanks for serving!

A universal truth in Gears of War

There is some truth in Gears of War. Not the whole Lucust raising up from below the surface and running amok on civilization kind of truth, but something much more annoying in the game. I'm talking about sticking to walls. Stay with me here people.

I was leaving the bathroom (aren't you glad you know that?) when I was just coming around the corner (hugging the wall as closely as I could to save a half a step on the turn) when I ran into someone face to face. We both stood there for five or ten seconds just staring the other person down seeing who was going to alter their path to get around the other. Then it occurred to me. I was stuck on the wall. Just like in Gears of War

Of course I wasn't carrying a chainsaw fitted onto a machine gun (I think that's very important for you to know that) and being hunted by Locust (although a demanding boss comes awfully close if you ask me). But I'm sure if Marcus Fenix (although I prefer to play as Dominic Santiago, he's much cuter) were a real person (and yes I know the difference between real life and video games) the feeling I had would be much like what he would experience when trying to get into and out of cover while fighting across Sera (you know, the name of the planet they're on).

I held my ground (had no real choice in the matter) and she walked around me and on her way. So the next time you complain about the "stickiness" in Gears of War just remember that the programmers might have been basing that off of real world experience (either that or I think about video games too much) so it's a universal truth and one that we, as gamers, are just going to have to accept it. Now doesn't that make it so much more bearable?

In the heat of the moment

I don't know of any game that doesn't get intense. Even Uno. But maybe that's just the way I play games or the friends I play with. And sometimes when things get a little intense, people can get a little heated. In actions and words. And usually I don't mind.

I think any game where you don't respawn after death automatically makes the game play more intense. If you've only got one life to play you want to make sure you play it well. And when you get killed (with a spectacular shot or a lucky one) there's bound to be some words spoken in the heat of battle. Yep, I'm talking cuss words. Now, I'm not a prude as I've been known to say a few cuss words myself in the heat of battle, so I don't usually mind the expletive explosions that usually come at one's own death. It's free speech right?

What I don't like is the swear words that get bantered around usually at the start of a match or when you're playing with strangers and they start using them in anger or hatred. The words don't have to be hate words either. Call of Duty 4 is a game that seems to get a lot of jerks playing and chest-thumping their own skills or the lack thereof in their opponents. Those matches just turn me off. I ran into quite a lot of that over this past weekend. I think the "double EXP points" weekend brought all the loonies out of the woodwork. When those words start to fly the game's no longer fun for me any more, especially when I become the target for no other reason then people think my name is funny for a guy (and then they find out I'm a girl which only fuels their fire).

But not all swear words are said in anger or hatred. Some are used towards a comedic effect . . . at least with my friends. Gears of War is a game we all like to play except for all the glitches in the game (sticking to walls, host advantage, etc). So the frustration levels can get very high. And when someone dies . . . well there might be a few words spoken that sound just the same as the angry words spoken in a Call of Duty 4 match but the laughter that usually accompanies them lets everyone know it's all in good fun. And it is.

I certainly don't take it any other way. And if you've ever seen me play you know that I've got more to be frustrated about than others, since I'm usually the first kill or one with the lowest score. After I die, I get to watch others play and then hear the burst of laughter as someone just got their head blow off by a well placed sniper shot. Or my personal favorite, the desperation Boomshoot where you take yourself out to make sure you get who you're aiming at as well.

There is another problem I have with swearing in games and playing with my regular group of friends. The problem is they're good guys. Gentleman all around. And when they play with a girl they think they should moderate their language. And if they forget to they end up apologizing for everything they say. There are certain swear words I just don't like to hear and if I heard one I'll let them know, otherwise they're free to say whatever they'd like. I don't expect to control them or dictate what they can and can not say. When one of my friends got a little carried away in a Call of Duty 4 match I just left. I'm free to do that too. And since I know these guys are gentlemen I know they don't mean anything by it, but then again the laughter usually gives them away.

I use to think that swearing was for the unintelligent that just couldn't figure out anything else to say. But sometimes swearing happens because that's the only thing that's going to express the emotions in the heat of the moment. Do I have to mute everyone who does so I don't hear any of it? No. Besides, sometimes those heat of the moments comments make for a F-ing good laugh, at least when you play with my friends.

This just keeps getting better and better

Okay, you might not care about the rumblings of Jack Thompson who seems to be on a crusade against video games, but the more I hear about him the more fascinating his shenanigans are becoming. That doesn't mean I like the guy; he's just providing better comedy than anything on TV lately.

His latest stunt was at a hearing about the recommendation that he be disbarred for 10 years for 27 violations of conduct. Besides the fact that he looked like he was throwing a hissy fit when he didn't get his way, his grasp of the English language is atrocious. I read his entire objection and it was painful to get through at times. Not always for what he was saying (comparing himself to Jesus) but for the terrible grammar he displayed. And if the workings of the legal system are predicated on "facts" why is his lengthy objection (14 pages) more of an emotional rant than examples of facts concerning the charges? It read like he was throwing a temper tantrum in words instead of what a professional legal document objecting to something should read like. I'm no lawyer but I would be embarrassed if that was the kind of work I was submitting in court.

I have to question someone's intentions when they bring a written objection to court but have enough copies to hand out to reporters and spectators in the audience as well as the a copy for the courts. And the fact that he named dropped all over the place AND worked in a press release of one of his upcoming public appearances was just priceless. I lived in Provo for almost five years and I know the population is a lot less than 250,000. And the fact the Miley Cyruss is preforming at the event is going to draw a lot more attention than his attendance will. This just keeps getting better and better.

New Poll - Favorite Gears of War weapon

Everybody's got a favorite weapon in Gears of War. What's yours? It might not be the weapon you're best at, but the weapon you enjoy using the most . . . even if you kill yourself in the process when you do. Not that I have any friends who do that mind you, I'm just saying. :)

Poll Results - What plasmid do you want?

Okay the poll has closed for the poll "What BioShock plasmid do you want?". And I finished the game but I still have achievements to get.

Here are the results:

Telekinesis 4
Electrobolt 0
Incinerator 0
Swarm of Bees 0
Winter Blast 0

I didn't vote in my own poll. Yes, I know that sounds bad but I just couldn't make up my mind which one I would want. I'm a girl so having a plasmid to fit my mood would be nice. If I was feeling like an ice queen I could use Winter Blast. If I was feeling everyone was being annoying I'd use Swarm of Bees. Or Incinerator if I got hot under the collar. And for those happy electrifying moments of my personality I'd have Electrobolt. The Telekinesis I would use to mess with people's minds. "You car keys? Why there over there. Oops. Now they're over there." You know, that kind of thing.

When I got the end of BioShock I was surprised at how easy the final confrontation was. Yes, I was playing on Easy but after some of the Big Daddy encounters I had this was a piece of cake. I did go back and replay the ending on Hard and boy was that tough. I think I'll keep that save and try to finish just the final battle on hard and see if I get the achievement for finishing the game on hard.

I'm a little surprised at how many achievements I had left to earn when I finished the game. I missed fully researching the Bouncer because I wasn't really researching things as much as I should have been doing at the beginning of the game. Because of that I didn't get the Research PhD achievement. I also know I missed getting to Sander Choen's apartment. I just got too wrapped up in the story to pay attention at that minor side trip. I don't know if I have a save file back far enough to do that so I might have to start the game all over again. I did miss picking up 5 journals. I've already gone back for one but another one that my menu's say I'm missing isn't where the book says it is and now I can't find it. But the achievements that I'm most surprised about is the 5 fully upgraded weapons and Weapons Specialist one. I've used every weapons upgrade station but I still don't have that achievement. And since you can only use the stations once I don't see how I can go back and get this achievement. Any helpful hints would be appreciated.

BioShock is a GREAT game. I think it's a game that everyone should play whether you like shooters or RPG or not. It's story telling is amazing, the visuals are fantastic (except for when I first got in the suit and any lines I saw got wavy as I turned my head making me nauseous--if you've played the game you'll know) and the game play is outstanding because it's customizable. I've heard a lot of advice at how to play the game by other people but there's so much freedom that I ended up playing the game my way and loved every minute of it.

If you haven't played it DO IT! If you have played it TRY IT AGAIN. I'm curious as to what the other ending is like (I saved the Little Sisters). If you're playing it now KEEP PLAYING. It's a great game and worth every award and minute you'll spend playing it.

The devil's axe is not golden

So there's been some research various sites have done to figure out which Arcade games might be getting the axe when Microsoft starts "delisting". There are three criteria that's going to be used: 1) a Metacritic score of 65 or less, 2) released over 6 months ago, and 3) a demo to full version conversion rate less than 6%. Of those three things the first two are easy to find out. The last one? Only Microsoft knows.

I went to the Metacritic website and found that I had 41 Arcade games that fell under that magic number rating of 65. I also had 6 demos that haven't made the mark. Some of the games I'm not surprised about. Yaris had the lowest rating of 17. One of my favorite games, Boogie Bunnies had a rating of 54. Some of them I'm really surprised about. Aegis Wings seems a very popular game but only got a rating of 58. Frogger and Pac Man only got 62. Texas Hold 'em got a 63. Since the metacritic number is based off of reviews given to games I guess it all comes down to just a couple of people's opinions about a game.

I read several gaming magazines, in print and on line. Some of them say they pick someone to review a game that isn't a fan of the series or game so that an unbiased opinion can be generated. Unbiased? If they don't like the game to begin with do you really think minor flaws (and every game has them) aren't going to pointed out and nit-picked on? If there's something wrong with a game (like sticking to walls in Gears of War) that reviewer is going to use that to give the game a lower score because it's just going to be one more reason why they don't like the game in the first place. Yes, I know some games might be good enough to win people over, but that's less likely to happen.

Some magazines say they have fans of a game/series review it because they'll know what really works for the game and what true fans will be disappointed about. This too can have a negative effect as the hype of a game can generate such a great expectation that can exceed what a developer can actually deliver. Just look at Rainbow Six: Vegas 2 as an example of that. Yes, I know journalists are suppose to be fair and unbiased about their subjects, but can you honestly say that's how you want your reviews of games to be handled? Don't we all enjoy it when we get recommendations from friends about games, try them out and like them? We want to know why they liked the game not just that it had good graphics or a great physics engine.

I found another website that listed the games that had a metacritic score less than 65 and had been out for over 6 months. Now if a game meets ALL three criteria it's not automatically going to be delisted but will be eligible for delisting. Since we don't have the ability to measure the last criteria, just based on the first two the following games just might get the axe: Crystal Quest, Texas Hold 'em, Hearts, Contra, Pac Man, Frogger, Root Beer Tapper, Double Dragon, Asteroids and Centipede/Millipede just to name a few. While everyone who's downloaded them previously will still have access to them through their "download history" option on the dashboard (at least that's what they're saying) what about new first time buyers of an Xbox 360? Just because they come late to the game why should they be prevented from taking advantage of some of the great games out there?

I really wish we could find out what the conversion rate is for games. I know I've purchased games without having first downloaded the demo. Do you really think I need to play the demo of Pac Man before I decide to buy it? I know that game. I've played it in the Arcades. On real game cabinets not game consoles. And yes, I've downloaded game demos that I've tried but not purchased. Even though I didn't like the game some other people might so let them have a chance to experience it too.

One of the reasons Microsoft says they're doing this to stream line and clean up the Arcade Marketplace because it's too confusing. I don't think that has anything to do with the games on the Marketplace but the interface you created to list and display them. You don't throw out the furniture just because you built a house that doesn't have any stairs to the second floor. It doesn't make any sense. And am I the only one who's noticed that the number are 6 month, 6% conversion and 65 metascore. 666. The devil's axe isn't gold after all. It's Microsoft green. At least Golden Axe, the arcade game, is safe for awhile. Its score is 68.